Ex List

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Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
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Let's Talk About Ex

A group of gals have wound down their bachelorette party festivities at a local psychic. The bride-to-be is beyond thrilled that they get to see their futures. She profusely thanks her sister Bella (a.k.a. Elizabeth Reaser from Grey's Anatomy. You remember, she played the chick who lost her memory, had sex with Alex and then went crazy. That girl.) Bella says it is her job to ensure that her sister gets a happy ending, be it with a masseuse or psychic. Okay, then! Once inside the psychic's shop, the salad-munching reader agrees to see this big group with no notice. (You'd think they'd want to make an appointment for this kind of thing.) The psychic looks them over, says she'll see the bride first and Bella last, and, in an attempt to make sure they don't get slammed on extra limo charges, she'll make it snappy. A frugal psychic who sees drunken customers without an appointment? She must be fantastic.

We don't see the psychic telling the bride about her happily ever after; instead we see an uncomfortable-looking Bella sitting across from the raven-haired woman. Bella's making lame conversation -- clearly, she's not a believer. The psychic tells her that she'll soon see a woman at work who becomes a fixture in her life. Bella scoffs, but this no-nonsense psychic is like, "Just shut up and listen for five minutes." The psychic tells Bella that she wants to be married, but that she's had a lot of men in her life. She informs Bella that if she doesn't get hitched within a year, it's never going to happen. Otherwise she'll be an old hag. When will Bella meet her dream man? Turns out she already has, and she's had a relationship with him. But the psychic isn't naming names, and can't help Bella narrow the list down. And it is apparently a very, very long list. Bella think the psychic is a hack, so psychic starts rattling off random details about Bella's life: she broke up with a guy a few months ago, they have a kid named Rufus (though it is actually a dog) and their dog has an urgent issue with seaweed and water. Bella calls the psychic the devil and storms off.

Bella walks up to her ex's house in the middle of the night and pounds on the door. She sees her dog and is grateful that he's okay. I'm distracted by the six-pack on this ex. The guy doesn't seem upset that Bella's arrived to see the dog in the middle of the night; he even jokes that she's booty-calling Rufus. But he lets her take the pooch, and alludes to a recent booty call of the human variety.

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