Expedition Impossible
I Don't Know How to Ride This Thing!

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: C | Grade It Now!
Camels! Again!


While Finding Nino remains stuck, the remaining teams reach the instructions for the finish line. They'll have a choice of two routes. A 4.1 mile straight-shot hike through the cold river or a shorter 3.3 mile hike over a mountain. All teams choose the river route except for WGIYNIKA, who think they can make up some ground and S.W.A.T., who are probably just being prideful. It proves to be a good choice because they manage to pass up WGIYNIKA on the mountain. Meanwhile, Finding Nino finally figures out the pillar puzzle. "We're fishermen not locksmiths," Nino deadpans to the camera. They're 20 minutes behind the other teams, but they opt for the river route anyway. The not stupid teams begin to arrive at the finish. Moustaches are first again. AGAIN! Somewhat Limited arrives second. There's more mushy stuff between Jeff and Erik. Jeff says he thinks Erik is exerting himself more than anyone else out there, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to take Erik as far as he wants to go. Wait... maybe I labeled Team Gay Angst incorrectly. Rednecks finish third, Akbar fourth, Gay Angst fifth, NY'sWCE sixth, Valley Girls seventh, S.W.A.T. eighth. Salmoni says this in the exact same phrasing and cadence for each team. Edited in rapid succession for these six teams, it's staggering. "[Team name]! You're in [number] place." Seriously, for what you're paying this guy, you could buy some way better challenges and puzzles. Finding Nino begins to gain on Grandpa's Last Expedition, who is fading fast in the river. Actually, it's the young Sam who is having issues pressing on in the frigid waters. Whippersnapper!


Grandpa's Last Expedition, Finding Nino and WGIYNIKA are the only teams left. It's even trickier this time to get a sense of how the teams are ranked because of the division in routes. The only certainty is Finding Nino catches up to Grandpa on the river. Nino is kind enough to tell Sam she shouldn't quit as his team passes by. Grandpa says he was encouraged by that. Eventually, WGIYNIKA decides the mountain is too much, so they come down to the river where there is no sign of any of the other teams. Are they in last? No matter the outcome, the girls hold hands through the remainder of the river. Salmoni calls out to them in the distance. They arrive and are informed they are in fact in ninth place. The shorter mountain route paid off. This means Finding Nino, having just passed up Grandpa's Last Expedition secures the last spot. Really awesome genuine moment here: Sam is a tearful mess as Dick's team makes the final march down the river. He tells Sam that once they cross the finish line, she needs to wipe it away and show a brave face for her mom. They arrive and Sam does just that when Salmoni informs them they're the last team. The helicopter comes promptly to get them. Dick is all about living life to the fullest (obviously) so he's not so broken up about losing. He cherishes the opportunity and memories of the expedition.

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Expedition Impossible




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