Expedition Impossible
Light My Way!

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Recap of last week's events: Chad getting gassed, Mom from Mom's Army having issues and Grandpa's Warriors edging out Latin Persuasion to stay in the competition.

Dave Salmoni has assembled all of the teams to remind them the last team to complete the next stage will be eliminated. At this point, everyone's like, "Isn't that the only thing we're all striving for right now?" It becomes apparent, though, that there's actually something at stake for striving to place well (more on that shortly).

Stage 2 will be taking place at the Ancient Rabat Kasbah. Teams will hike half a mile to a horse outpost where 36 Arabian stallions await. Ladies swoon. Oh wait... they mean actual stallions. From there they will ride seven miles to the next checkpoint. Keeping in mind these people had all sorts of issues staying atop camels, can we expect a death here when they try to manage spirited wild horses? Please?

AJ from Fab 3 lets us in on his hatred for horses. He shatters gay stereotypes by worrying what will happen if a horse hoof catches him in his pretty face. Way to set the human rights movement back a few days, man.

The pay-off for placing well in the last stage lies in the way teams will be started on the next stage. The remaining teams are divided up into three groups based on their placement. Gypsies get a five minute head start for winning the first stage. As they take off, Akbar trash talks them, figuring they must think they have this race won already. But little do they know, Akbar is full-throttle, or so he says. "Akbar is in shape now. Yes, I spoke in third person." This guy either needs to stop trying so hard or start trying harder. It's hard to tell which.

Gypsy Eric thinks that his team has a huge advantage with all of the traveling and experiencing of other cultures they've done. Gypsy John reveals his team brought along an Arabic phrasebook for the expedition. Really good thinking on their part. It helps them ask the locals which horses are best when they get to the outpost, but it ultimately doesn't help at all as a local tells us in subtitled text, "They wanted to know which is the best horse. All of them are the same. They all have four legs." Holy crap; can we just make this show about the locals, please?

Football Players, Fab 3 and Team Kansas are in the first group to follow Gypsies. Team TH for Fab 3 with Ryan doing all the talking yet again and yet again assuming everyone underestimates the gays and the girl. Put it back in the deck, guy. You've already proven to the other teams you guys are contenders by solving the water puzzle in Stage 1. Ugh. Country Boys, Fishermen, No Limits and NY Firemen are up next. Nick from Country Boys thinks everyone is already physically exhausted from Stage 1. Does boredom count as physical exhaustion? California Girls, Cops, Grandpa's Warriors and Mom's Army make up the last wave of teams to start. Abbie's talks about her and her sister Ruthie being able to push past their limits as a result of being in the Army and not wanting to end up in last place. If this show were any more telegraphed, it would be in Morse code.

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Expedition Impossible

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