Expedition Impossible
Sun! Sand! Sahara!

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Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Expedition Exposition

This segues to the team with the blind guy, "No Limits" from Boulder, Colorado. Our blind guy is Erik, who says he's used to being counted out despite the fact he has, you know... climbed Mount Everest. Go Erik! Show these visioned people what's up.

"Grandpa's Warriors" is a team with a 69-year-old man named Dick. The "California Girls" think having a grandpa on your team at all is excess baggage. Ageists. And the sniping has started...

The Country Boys rag on Latin Persuasion for being dressed in all black and looking like they won't even last ten minutes out of the city. "They look like a dance group. A damn ugly dance group." Burn. Super-duper burn.

We finally end the longest Ford Explorer commercial ever and end up at the assembly area where the teams all meet up with our expedition's host, Dave Salmoni. He explains the raiders who were guarding the motorcade and are called Berber Warriors (whatever) were doing so as a gesture of their blessing for the teams to enter the land for the competition (double whatever). He also imparts a bit of local wisdom in the form of a saying, which states "Choose your companions before choosing the road." Salmoni encourages the teams to take a moment to look at each other and ask if they've chosen their teams wisely, as if someone would actually at this point call one of their best friends out before the competition even starts and ask for a replacement. That might actually be a good idea, however, because if one team member quits, the whole team is out. The rules of the competition are thus: 10 stages, each with a series of checkpoints and challenges. The last team to complete each stage will be eliminated. The team which completes all the stages first will win $150,000 and three, brand-new Ford Explorers, the official vehicle of impossible expeditions. The first stage will begin when the teams climb to the top of a nearby sand dune marked with two flags as a gateway. To the west of that dune will be the first checkpoint -- a camel outpost.

TH for Akbar, the football player who introduced us to the team earlier. Again, he describes his sweaty palms as he looked up at the massive sand dune he'd have to climb. Can we throw in some Drysol if this guy's team wins?

The Berber Warriors (what. ever.) fire their rifles to signal the start of the first stage and the teams take off at their respective paces. Blind Guy Erik explains in team TH for No Limits that he hikes by following someone with bells so he can perceive the way, and uses two balancing poles for stability. He adds that it would probably be very embarrassing for all the other teams to lose to a blind guy, as his teammates giggle because he's so right. We cut from the interview to the competition where No Limits is behind Fab 3. Voiceover of Blind Guy Erik reminisces that his teammates told him they were behind a team wearing knee-high socks, and he was like, "There's no way we can lose to guys with knee-high socks." Straight guys dogging gay guys' fashion? Well... you certainly have our attention, now.

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Expedition Impossible

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