Alias
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admin: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Oh, if only this actually WERE The Office.

Vaughn can't hear her at the moment. He's too busy casually strolling up to Sark and sitting down next to him. "Cheers," he says. Sark just looks at him without an iota of surprise. "Mr. Vaughn," he says. "Tell me, you wouldn't happen to know an eight-letter word for 'arrogant,' would you?" Heh. How do I love thee, Sark? Let me count the ways. One, two, three, four… "Do exactly as I tell you," rasps Vaughn, "or I'll kill you." Sark just sneers at him. Seconds later, Vaughn orders Sark to step into the bathroom. Heh. Mile High Club, anyone? Vaughn handcuffs Sark to the sink, and thousands of slash fanfic writers run screaming for their computers.

Sark's all, doesn't it bother you that a bomb-maker arranges a meeting on a plane and then doesn't show up? "I don't know about you," he sniffs, "but that concerns me." Just then, Vaughn's cell phone rings and he exits the bathroom, telling a passing steward, "Lock this up." The steward's all, uh, lock it up yourself, dude. Just slide the thingy over to occupado. What, are your fingers broken? God, I hate this job. Why didn't I become a pharmacist like my father wanted me to? Noooo. I wanted to travel. And now I'm a fucking waitress in the sky. What, you want more peanuts? You've already had three packs and you don't get any more, okay? Hell, you already take up two seats as it is. Here's a tip: CARROTS. I have GOT to get outta here…

Vaughn picks up the call, and it's Syd. "Vaughn, we may have a problem," she says. Next thing we know, we're in the cockpit and the captain's all, an explosive device? On MY plane? Oh, that's just rich. Why didn't I become a taxidermist like my father wanted me to? God, I hate this job. Except for the blowjobs after the dinner service. Those are great. Vaughn just tells the pilot that he's not sure if the bomb is actually on the plane, but he should get ready to land immediately, just to be on the safe side. Syd tells him to look for something roughly the size of a CD, and that it could be anywhere. Syd does some research and discovers that some work was done in the cargo hold two days ago. Sure enough, the bomb's right where Vaughn finds it in the electrical current bypass. He tells Syd to get Marshall on the phone, pronto.

Oops Center. The team bickers amongst themselves about whether or not Danny Boy's a lying bastard. Jack declares that they have to tell Danny the truth about who they are and take him into their confidence immediately. After Dix tells them all that landing space has been cleared in Marseilles, Syd pipes up that she thinks Danny Boy would have planned for an emergency landing, and that getting rid of the bomb won't be so easy. Jack thinks that if they tell Danny Boy that Sark's in custody and will be prosecuted, maybe he'll tell them how to deactivate the bomb. Yeah, because Sark moldering away on Death Row for the next ten years or so is SO much more satisfying then blowing his ass to bits in the middle of the sky.

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Alias

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