Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
Oh, if only this actually WERE The Office.

Jack's leaning toward Plan B as the best way to get the second bomb diffused and learn who Danny Boy's partners are. Syd pipes up that Griffin Dunne might be able to help. Also? He could use the cash. Those SAG dues are a bitch. Dix orders that they spec out both Plan A and Plan B. He tells Syd to question Griffin, and Weiss and Vaughn to detail the mission if they go in as CIA. They'll meet back in The Conference Room of Endless Expositions in two hours. Aaaand…BREAK!

No, not the commercial kind of break. This isn't Kingdom Hospital, after all. We head on over to Griffin's place, where he's lighting a cigarette without benefit of a Bic. As he sucks on his cigarette, he waxes patriotic about how he loves America now. Syd shows him a picture of Danny Boy, and Griffin immediately tells her that Danny was critical to the IRA when they were in the bombing gig. Since Sinn Fein is no longer in the Let's Blow Up Innocent Women And Children business, Danny Boy had to become an independent contractor. "Your cigarettes are for shit," he grunts, getting up from his chair. Oh, fine. He doesn't say "shit," he says "crap," but he really means "shit," because that's the proper phrase, but this is network and you can't say shit like "shit" like ever.

He hates the smokes (which doesn't keep him from smoking them, much to Syd's irritation), but he loves the cable TV; particularly this little show, how you say, Miami Vice. Jesus. What channel nowadays shows Miami Vice? What cable company does he have, Comcrap? LessThanPrime? OFWR (Only For Weird Russians)? Syd's all, yeah, yeah, yeah. Enough with the chimney act, Russkie. We want to acquire Danny Boy's latest weapon and we want to pose as the Covenant. Got any pointers? Everything you know about Danny Boy's contacts, protocols, interactions, et cetera -- all of that would be greaaaat, thanks. Griffin only did two deals with Danny Boy, however, so all he can really tell her is how Danny Boy's used to dealing with the Covenant, what he'll be expecting treatment-wise, and that his contact is Vladimir Androjnev.

"How is Agent Vaughn?" Griffin asks suddenly. Syd looks up all, the whuh? In the whuh whuh? "When you took me from North Korea," he says, kind of slimily, "I saw a strong connection, yes?" Syd just shoots him a look that says, "If I didn't need to pump you for info right now, you'd be wearing your testicles as earrings, dude." She just gets back to business and asks what happens after they make first contact with Danny Boy in Belfast. We don't get an answer to this. Instead, we switch quickly to Weiss, sitting at his computer and saying, "Hey, where's Lauren? I haven't seen her all day." Thousands of Alias posters take this as a sign from their own personal saviors that the Evilauren has been removed from the show, and they flee the room in search of candles, incense, religious figurines, and their holy tome of choice, while at the same time moaning internally that now they have to give up chocolate and swearing, just like they promised.

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