Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
Oh, if only this actually WERE The Office.

Griffin pipes up that Sark's in town on business and that he'd be happy to oblige Danny's request. We cut to Dix going, "'HAPPY TO OBLIGE'?!" Heh. Not too happy about Griffin's over-promising there, are ya, Dix? Griffin's all, everything's cool, people! Sark and Ryan have never met! Jack's all, you sure on this? Griffin's all, yyyyyeeees. Yes. Syd takes one look at him and says, "That wasn't a yes, that was a no." Heh. It totally was, too. Griffin's backpedals that their only chance to get what they want is to send someone into Danny's room, posing as Sark. Vaughn kind of looks over at Jack and, well, you know what's coming next. There's a knock at Danny's door. He opens it, and outside is Vaughn, posing as Sark. "Mr. Ryan," he says in British accent that rivals Jack's Russian for Worst Accent Ever, "I am Julian Sark."

I suppose I can live with the bad accent, as long as Vaughn keeps wearing tight black t-shirts and black leather jackets. Rowr. Danny agrees with me, because he takes one look at Vaughn and goes, "They said you was a pretty boy." Yes, yes he is, Danny. As the team watches on the monitors, Vaughn asks when and where he can acquire Danny's product. Danny tells him that the info he needs is on a disk that his associate will carry on board a flight from Rome to Paris tomorrow night. Vaughn's supposed to purchase two adjacent seats; twenty minutes outside of Rome, Danny's associate will sit down next to him and the transfer will be made. "It's elaborate," Danny says begrudgingly. "But, at 35,000 feet, there's no chance of surveillance." Vaughn wants to know how he'll know who the associate is. Danny just says that he'll know him because they've worked together before.

Dix bitches that this means that they'll have to have the real Sark on the plane in order for this to work because, you know, Vaughn isn't the real Sark so he won't know who the associate is. Or something. Drink. More. Think. Less. Vaughn's hideous accent wants to make sure that the second demonstration of the bomb is called off. Danny cryptically says that when his associate sees Vaughn, the second demonstration issue will come to a close. "We're agreed then?" Vaughn's embarrassingly bad accent asks. "We are indeed, Mr. Sark," says Danny Boy, an odd twist to his lips. Back in Oops Center, the team rigs up a plan to get Sark on the plane. I've now watched this section four times and I still can't figure out what they're going to do. I think it involves a communiqué and intercepting and duping Sark and -- oh, whatever. They're getting Sark on the plane, and that's really all we need to know. The team gets to work, and Vaughn gets to Rome to catch a plane.

Rome. Or, more specifically, Rome International Airport. Or, even more specifically, Aeroporti di Roma. Vaughn's on the plane, and he's sporting a pair of glasses that make me want to do really naughty things to him in the stacks at the local library. Mmmm…brainy-looking men. Mmmm. Vaughn's listening to Syd tell him that all the passengers but two have boarded the plane. That's when we see the two unfortunate passengers lying dead on the floor somewhere. A hand reaches out and pulls a ticket from a pocket. The hand belongs to Sark, of course, and he makes it onto the plane without having his ID or passport checked or the absence of his wife really questioned. Did I mention the drinking more and thinking less? Because that's gonna be a necessity here.

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