It's the two-hour Falling Skies premiere extravaganza! Cue music fraught with tension and post-apocalyptic overtones! We see a child's drawing, in which a school -- denoted by the fact that it has a circular sign next to it that says "school" (thanks, TOTALLY authentic kid who drew this for making that clear) -- has people pouring out of it and some sort of blue-black thing hovering on the left side of the page. The people in the drawing are NOT happy, denoted by the fact that one of them has a big frown and the rest have their arms up in the air, in a frantic waving-about kind of manner. Arms in the air are a sure stick-drawing indicator for panic. Or joy. But in this case it's panic. A lispy kid voice says to us, "I was in thchool when the thipth came. They were really big and they said that we weren't gonna attack them with nuclear bombs because they might have wanted to be friends. But they didn't want to be friends. Not at all." When you see these aliens, you are going to be like, no shit. This bit of non-nuking backstory is how we know that the alien attack happened during the Obama presidency. He would have totally held a press conference about the importance of bi-galactic collaboration and made some sort of extraterrestrial ambassador cabinet post before being fried by a birther alien who is solidly against collective bargaining and universal health care. Meanwhile, possibly the only good thing I can imagine about a Palin presidency is that she would have been alerted to a blinking light outside of her window, pushed the button, and then rolled over and gone back to sleep. Of course, if things ever got that far, we'd probably actively welcome an extraterrestrial takeover of some sort.
Our lispy narrator (or actually, narrators, all interchangeably lispy) continues: "And then there was a bright light that makes, like, all electronics stop working. Computers, radios, satellites, cars, TVs, everything." And, I mean, a million points to the aliens for that one. You know some Venusians are watching this show on pirated DirecTV and getting ideas right now. We see more kid art with arms up in the air, houses on fire and some really sophisticated mean-looking aliens. Our narrators continue, "They blew up army bases, ships, the navy, submarines and all the soldiers are gone." Well, except for the crazy retired ones who you're going to meet in a few. The other bad news is, "Now moms and dads have to fight." And not just about dirty laundry and who's going to pick up little Scotty from soccer practice. Instead, they can turn their aggression outward and fight a common enemy. Maybe the silver lining of this alien takeover scenario is that it will save the American marriage!