The next morning, Dr. Anne Glass is tending to the wounded and Professor Tom tells her that she's good. She says, "For a pediatrician," and he replies, "For any doctor." She is the only doctor they have, so, like, beggars and choosers and such. They continue with the post-apocalyptic humor flirting, with Anne saying that it could be worse and she could be dealing with flu shots and neurotic mothers and Tom saying that he could be trying to figure out how to avoid grading midterms. How awesome would it be if they both just got eviscerated by lasers right now and this was actually a short film? Professor Tom shorthands the resistance's new plan to Anne as such: "Retreat, regroup, return, revenge." And then recycle the Skitters into really sweet boots!
Crazy Weaver barks some route information to Tom, who agrees with his plan. It turns out that Weaver doesn't care if he agrees or not -- he just wants Tom to listen to his orders. Is that the real voice of the actor who plays Crazy Weaver? Who could possibly talk like that all the time in daily life? Meanwhile, some old dude, who I think is named Uncle Scott, is trying to fix a carburetor in a busted-up old car. Weaver gives him ten minutes and Dr. Anne asks if her 200 pounds of medical supplies should go into the car or into backpacks. E.g., are you going to fix this fucker in time or no, grandpa? Uncle Scott's elder ladyfriend has no faith in him whatsoever and mouths, "Backpacks." But then he totally gets the car to start! See, the AARP set should not just be left behind for dead if an event like this were to occur. They can add value too! Tom tells his little son Matt that they're heading out to a better place tonight, and Matt looks forlorn. He says that tonight's the eighth, which is the date of his party. OMG, fuck you and your birthday, little kid! This is intergalactic warfare! No one is in the mood to celebrate the fact that you've made it to seven alive. It's too bad that he wasn't the one harnessed. Hal is totally on my side in this matter, FYI. Matt points out that Hal had a birthday party even after the aliens took over and Tom tells him that they'll try to do a little something. Matt gets sad street urchin puppy dog eyes and Hal tells him to give their dad a break. In response, Matt mopes off like a total twat.
Professor Tom gets his weapons all set for the trip, and then notices boxes and boxes of books piled off to the side of the street. Like, who the fuck found this to be an opportune time to clean their bookshelves? Do you need to bother putting them out on the curb when the aliens are just going to blow your damn house up anyway? Tom checks out the selection, throwing aside some sort of trashy magazine, and then picks up Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Wink wink! He chucks it in favor of A Tale of Two Cities. Wink wink! Except this is totally just the worst of times. With that, the 2nd Mass heads on their way. Most people walk, but Hal is on a motorcycle and there is also a truck with provisions. Crazy Weaver sits atop a car, which my boyfriend tells me is a sweet Pontiac GTO convertible. Because why wouldn't a classic muscle car have survived the alien invasion in a functional state and then made it into the possession of the resistance? Between Crazy Weaver on top of the convertible and the guy hobbling in front of him on crutches, it kind of looks like a Veterans Day parade.













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