A Clockwork Nebari

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | Grade It Now!
The Happy Club

And then another Nebari enters. An '80s New Wave Nebari, with artfully mussed hair. She calls, "Chiana, dear, it's time to go home." Then she turns her head so we can see that half of her face is injured. Or maybe the airbrush got clogged or something, but there's a mess over there and it looks like it dripped down onto her collarbone. Crichton asks who their guest is, and Aeryn happily explains, "Varla helped us and in turn we must help her." At this point Rygel starts humming softly because he's so darn happy, which I kinda love. Chiana stares at Rygel and Aeryn and finally announces, "They're cleansed." Crichton, as you'd expect, says, "What?" Chiana repeats that they're cleansed, and then screams, "Nooooooo!" and rushes forward. Aeryn grabs Chiana, who starts screaming that she won't go home. Varla pulls a weapon out as Aeryn punches Chiana and then grabs her from behind. Crichton aims his pistol at them and orders Aeryn to let Chiana go. After a second, Aeryn does, shoving Chiana at him. Crichton takes aim at Varla, who's still holding her own strange gun. They face off, and then Crichton fires. And, of course, there's a flash and some sparks, but not much of a shot. Varla smirks and fires her own gun. Blue light engulfs Crichton and Chiana, and then they collapse.

Credits. Random plug: Mperia. Kinda like iTunes for indie artists.

A Nebari ship flies toward Moya. A moment later, we see a very goth-y lad stride across the hangar. Varla turns to greet the new guy, and identifies him as "Milac." Milac has tousled black hair and the same tragic airbrushing injuries. He appears to like purple eye shadow. A lot. I'm not judging. He says he got Varla's signal, and asks if Chiana's aboard. Varla says, "She is, and we must honor our fallen shipmates and deliver her as soon as possible." Milac asks if the ship is "contained."

Cut to a very angry Pilot, struggling as Aeryn finishes fastening a large collar around his neck. "Why are you doing this?" he moans. Aeryn, wearing a metallic collar of her own, explains that they're going to become an '80s cover band. Actually, she says that he'll be fine if cooperates, but until she specifies what he's cooperating with, I'm going to assume they'll be playing "Lovesong" at a county fair near you. Varla tortures grammar a bit as she explains that Pilot's species cannot be cleansed, so he'll have to wear the collar. Pilot growls and swats Aeryn across the room. Varla touches her forehead, and the collar around Pilot's neck contracts. We see little spikes dig into Pilot's flesh. Varla advises him to do what she asks. Pilot asks what she wants, and she hands over a disk with directions to the nearest Nebari outpost. Then Varla suddenly collapses. Aeryn catches her and gently lowers her to the ground. Then Aeryn explains that Varla ran into some Peacekeepers, and asks him to make sure Moya's sensors are on full alert. Pilot gasps that if there are Peacekeepers around, they should Starburst immediately. Varla touches her forehead again, and we see fluid gurgle inside the collar. Pilot shudders and flecks of foam cover his lips. Ew. Varla happily explains that if Moya Starbursts, the collar will automatically kill Pilot. "We must get to the outpost," she concludes. Aeryn adds, "Please do so, Pilot. We would not like to lose you." She smiles ruefully, like you do when you're telling someone to do something for their own good.

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