Farscape
Back And Back And Back To The Future

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
...And Wash Away The Rain

John gives himself the Oh God face in his bathroom mirror, and then flashes to the bay, where Verell's just been royally shanked. D'Argo rushes past him, to check Verell, and behind them, Matala creeps up, snapping first D'Argo's neck and then John's. Back to his quarters, where he tries valiantly to counsel himself: "Get a grip, man. You don't know you've come unstuck in time." Somebody screams.

John catches D outside the bay and begs him not to go in. "Matala's in there and she's gonna try to kill you. Me. Us. And stab Verell. I don't know, she might have already done it." D'Argo admits to being disgusted by "this clumsy ruse," and I have to say I'm kind of disgusted by this clumsy plot point, because Matala's not actually doing anything to D'Argo, so why's he being so stupid? I've never dated a Luxan. Maybe it's just that easy. John begs him to listen and D'Argo just storms around about how bad John wants Matala. "Look, open your ears...or your tentacles...or whatever orifice it is you listen with. I think the woman is dangerous." The thing about femmes fatales is that you are supposed to want to bone them, and that's what gives the archetype power. I don't even want to look at Matala, I just want to smack her. Verell comes out of the bay, into the hallway, and exposits that Matala's off with Aeryn. That should go beautifully. D'Argo offers Verell some tea and they take off back inside to drink it. John, alone: "This is not happening. It's not. It's just not happening."

Aeryn and Matala are walking down a corridor; Aeryn's thanking Matala for joining her. Matala says she's "really in the mood for some physical activity." Aeryn avoids bitch-slapping her for talking like that, but she's really just biding her time. They bump into John, and Matala explains that they're going to "partake in some physical conditioning" together. John's glad, because that means they'll be down in cargo bay for a while working out, which means he has time to...do whatever he's going to do. Clearly the plan doesn't involve the correct measure of telling anybody besides D'Argo what's going on in his pants, his mental pants I mean, so I don't know. Aeryn snidely says they'll be down there "as long as [Matala] can keep up." Matala fronts awesomely, as though to say "About this long, bitch," and takes John's hand roughly in hers. "How's your hand?" The way she did it was very abrupt and kind of scary, but certainly made the point. Aeryn takes off without her, calling over her shoulder, and Matala drops his hand. John takes off in the opposite direction, rubbing his hand on his pants in a very funny, kind of OCD-furious way. I know, right?

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Farscape

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