Crackers Don't Matter

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | 4 USERS: A+
You Know, For Kids

Pilot tells T'raltixx that he's overloading the system. T'raltixx keeps bellowing that he needs more light. Pilot finally agrees, and the room T'raltixx is in glows a little more. I think T'raltixx could just walk over and turn the dimmer switch up for the same effect. Lazy bastard. T'raltixx's eyes, or whatever they are, glow too, and he says, "All of Moya is beginning to glow! I am maaagnificeeeeent!" Or goofy. You decide. We cut to an exterior showing light pouring out of all the little lines on Moya.

Crichton goes back to the door and says, "I want you to look at what he's doing to Moya!" He swings the door open, and light pours into the room. Everyone blinks and turns away, except for Zhaan, who preens. Heh. Crichton says that the walls are glowing. So, why aren't the walls glowing in the room they're in? Oh well. There are plenty of good things about this show, but "making sense" was never a big priority. D'Argo asks why T'raltixx would want them all to fight. Crichton explains that it's to distract them from T'raltixx's nefarious scheme. Aeryn munches on a cracker as she says, "I'll kill him. Undo me." Crichton aims his gun at her and asks if he can trust her. Aeryn pulls another cracker-bit out of her cleavage and says, "No." Crichton puts his gun away and smirks, "At least you're honest." He removes the cuff, and Aeryn immediately grabs him and snarls, "Unless you plan on actually pulling the trigger, don't ever pull a gun on me like that again!" Crichton moves his mouth a lot while Aeryn yells at him like he's contemplating new ways of making her shut up. They're so cute. He finally says that he was just making a point, and Aeryn of course says she was, too. Crichton stares at her and gasps, "Don't -- stop it -- focus here."

Aeryn moves away, and as she starts untying the others, Crichton starts coming up with one his patented crazy plans: "T'raltixx said that we're attacked through our optic neurons. That's how he's getting to us." So, we're assuming that the bad guy was telling the truth about that because....eh, whatever. Crichton says that they need to figure out how to protect him from the light and heat, and then he'll go kill T'raltixx. D'Argo snorts at the idea of sending Crichton in, but Crichton insists, "I'm the only one around here keeping it vaguely under control." Cue the bickering about who gets to kill T'raltixx. Chiana, surprisingly, takes Crichton's side, explaining that he isn't as affected "because he's deficient." Crichton doesn't care for that theory, but Chiana points out that he's got the worst vision of any of them. Crichton complains, "I got great eyes! They're better than 20/20, and they're blue!" Chiana asks if he can read what's written on a basin across the room. Crichton turns and looks, and we see a nice copper basin without any markings. Crichton says there's nothing written on it. Rygel chuckles and reads, "Warning..." D'Argo chimes in, "Don't flush corrosives --" and Aeryn puts a hand over one of her eyes and finishes, "-- down the waste tunnel." Crichton huffs that they're playing a joke on him, and Aeryn sighs that they'd better come up with a good plan. As they all parade out of the room, Crichton hisses, "I'm not deficient. I'm superior! Humans are superior!"

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