Farscape
Crackers Don't Matter

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Know, For Kids

Some time later, Zhaan is applying a nice facial mask to Crichton with, for some reason, a pair of forceps. She expositions that it's a "heat-deflecting paste." Crichton bitches that it smells like puke, and Zhaan chirps, "I pre-digested it to increase its potency." Crichton is displeased. D'Argo appears with a pair of goggles and urges him to hurry. Crichton makes with some meta-commentary about how stupid the goggles look, and D'Argo hands him the Qualta blade as well. Aeryn offers Crichton a shield she made out of a bit of her Prowler. She claims, "It will withstand a Zakkian laser pulse." I see. Chiana throws some solar-reflective material over Crichton's shoulders and pins it as he grouses, "I'm the deficient one and I'm still saving your butts." On cue, Chiana tells him to bend over. He does, and she slaps Crichton's helmet onto his head. It, too, has been coated with goo. Crichton asks if he looks ridiculous. Well, the hat is actually covering his hair, so it sort of balances out. Aeryn blinks and nods slightly. Rygel zooms over and says, "Don't worry, this is T'raltixx's disappearing device, so it won't matter how ridiculous you look." Chiana hangs the device around Crichton's neck, so it covers his abdomen. Everyone else steps back to admire their work, and Crichton hums "The Ride of the Valkyries" and suddenly strikes a heroic pose, thrusting his sword up into the air, with his shiny cloak flapping over his shoulders, covered in green goo. There's a Camelot-ish flourish on the soundtrack, and Aeryn sighs, "We are going to die."

They've moved into the corridor outside T'raltixx's room now. D'Argo expositions that T'raltixx's device is now attached to the module. Crichton orders them to turn it on for only ten microts: "No more, no 'mippippippi,' I do not want to blow up." Y'know, one reason we didn't recap Farscape regularly is because every recap would be a mass of links to explain all the in-jokes and references. Aeryn instructs Crichton to cut the power conductors, which will reduce T'raltixx's strength enough for Crichton to kill him. Which they know because...well, like I said, they're not big with the sense. Crichton's ready for battle, so Aeryn tells Rygel to start the module. They've got Rygel running the module? Not that kind of show, not that kind of show. Rygel fires up the engines, and Crichton turns into a vague CGI shimmer. He asks, "Is it working?" and D'Argo tells him it is. Crichton hurries into T'raltixx's room, and Aeryn and D'Argo begin feeding out the extra-extra-extra-long extension cord connecting Crichton to the module.

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Farscape

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