Crackers Don't Matter

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | 4 USERS: A+
You Know, For Kids

The camera swings through the corridor and finds D'Argo exploring an odd noise. He enters the maintenance bay, where Rygel is posed in front of his own pile of crackers. D'Argo growls, "What are you doing?" Rygel stammers a little, and D'Argo marches forward and hauls Rygel up by his robes. Hands on the puppet! Rygel quickly explains that he heard Chiana was stealing food. D'Argo says, "So you decided to get here first?" He adds, "Chiana told me that you would start to rob from us." Rygel whimpers and insists that Chiana's the thief, not him. D'Argo says that if Rygel wants crackers, he can have them. He slams Rygel onto his back and grabs a fistfull of crackers, and then shoves them into Rygel's mouth. Rygel gags and struggles and aw, look at his cute little teeth! D'Argo shoves more and more crackers into Rygel's face as he rants, "We've got plenty. You see? Now eat! You've got three stomachs -- one of them must be empty! EAT 'EM!" I wonder if D'Argo's trying to make pate de foam gras. That would give them something to put on the crackers, at least. D'Argo finally steps back, and Rygel whimpers sadly on the table. D'Argo stares at him and then says, "Grrrah!" Or possibly, "Khhhrrrggh!" And off he stomps.

Zhaan is reclining happily on some reflective material as T'raltixx calls Pilot, worried that something's wrong with her. He think she's in a trance. Pilot asks, "Is she...smiling?" T'raltixx says that she is. In fact, she's purring, with her hands curled up around her face. Pilot discretely suggests that she's just "enjoying" the pulsars. He explains, "She's a plant. Put her in the light, watch her smile." T'raltixx has another question: "Crichton and the rest on Moya -- do you like them?" Pilot ponders that and rather wonderingly says, "You know, I don't think I do like them." T'raltixx hms, "I thought as much."

Crichton roams the halls, calling for Pilot. When Pilot answers, Crichton complains that they've been calling him for half an arn. Pilot says that there must be a problem with their comms. Crichton grumps, "Have you noticed anything different around here, shell-head?" Pilot fumes while Crichton explains that everyone's acting weird, and asks Pilot to analyze the light to see if it's affecting them. Pilot agrees to run a scan. Crichton sarcastically says, "Thank you so much." Pilot grunts. From down the hall, Crichton hears Aeryn and Chiana arguing, and goes to investigate.

In the maintenance bay, Chiana is demanding that Aeryn show her the message on the beacon. The hologram of Scorpius flashes in and out as Aeryn tells Chiana to back off. Chiana starts to say, "Zhaan told us you were --" when Crichton enters and asks what's going on. Aeryn says that it's nothing, but Chiana goes straight to him and claims that there's a hidden message on the beacon that Aeryn won't let her see. Aeryn says that there's no hidden message. Crichton quickly tells Aeryn to play the message: "If there's nothing secret on the beacon, then show her the message, and she can get the hell out of here." Chiana recoils and asks why Crichton wants her to see the message. She suspiciously asks, "What's on there [that] you want me to see?" Aeryn leans over and rubs her head in the background, and Crichton quietly says, "Aeryn's right. You're freakin' insane." Aeryn looks upward and sighs, "Thank you," at this validation. D'Argo turns up to join the wacky free-for-all, and Crichton doesn't even turn around as he sneers, "Go back to your mountain, Grizzly, you're not wanted here."

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