DNA Mad Scientist

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Putting Out, With Dark Sunglasses

Man, all they have to do is mention Karen Shaw and I get all...let's move on. Like this one isn't wonderful enough. This is the one; this is when the show gets up in your face and demands your love and attention. "I am Farscape," it roars. Because if you're not ready for this, it's just a show, and that's fine. But you could be more. So we're sitting in Namtar's lab, with everybody sitting all breath-bated, John sitting in a chair I don't like to see him sitting in. And Namtar is saying, "If you wish to blink, now would be the time." Which is as good as anything for the line you'd put under John's yearbook picture.

Aeryn's would be, "Most likely to shoot your ass in the eye." D'Argo's would be "Most likely to have to deal with asshole progeny." Zhaan's would be "Most likely to be so super awesome except she broke last week and she's not actually the boss of you." Chiana's would be: "If you think Aeryn's okay, I will redefine the concept for you, because I am fucking fine." Or possibly a quotation from Kerouac or something. Maybe "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked," flipping off the camera even in her lame grade school hairdo. And Pilot's would be, "Most likely to deserve a fucking ice cream sundae at the least, an hour from now."

Namtar slides a needle into John's eye, on the off chance that he has some information having to do with John's eye. This is BS on several levels but maybe not what you think. First of all, Namtar is to my personal eye the second-most beautiful thing you ever see on this show (first being the Scarrans) and that's an issue you and I might have. I just love looking at the awful old bitch. His legs are double-jointed like a satyr because (a) that's what he is and (b) because his legs are left over from this ad they did about a thousand years ago where some guys were playing football with the Devil. None of this has to do with the story; I just really like the Namtar body and character and prosthesis and all that implies. Not about me, I mean. I'm not a leather-corset type, but the fact is that with alien makeups you can go this way or you can go that way, and the only things I really really enjoy looking at -- besides that bone lady -- are Namtar and the Scarrans. And yes, this is one of my favorite Season One episodes, but I don't know that it's necessarily having to do with the technical beauty of Namtar, because I am not creepy in the conventional sense. But he is beautiful.

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