Farscape
Farscape

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | 622 USERS: C+
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Inherit Rygel's Wind

Dersh ruefully exposits that Kenn was a "troublemaker," and not too many are sad to see the end of his radical, equality-seeking ways. Chiana doesn't care about local politics and wants to know what can be done for Zhaan. Not much, she's due to be executed in three days. Her only defense is her own testimony. "You're her lawyer -- you know, make something up!" Chiana insists. Dersh explains that if he defends a case he even suspects is false, he'll be executed as well. Confusingly, he makes to leave, saying, "I'll see you in court!" So, it's already known that she's gallows fodder, but they still try the case? Waste of taxpayers' money, and also very Deep Space Nine's "Tribunal"-y.

As heart-thrilling, "we're so proud of our legal system because that's all we are" music plays, Zhaan is led to a standing prisoner's dock. Rygel sums it all up for us, "This is a very ass-backwards world." He goes on, derisively, "They don't have monarchs or political parties, they have ruling law firms." Rygel's been doing his homework and explains the that law firm currently in power is known as "Rhuman, Willian...something." Oh, so Rhuman, not "Roman." Whatev. I'm sure they meant us to hear "Roman" because of the jackholery of Roman law. Rygel goes on that Rhuman's first name is Ja. "Ja Rhuman" is the name of a senior partner at a ruling law firm? Yeah, there's no way I'm not calling him Ja Rule from here on out, sorry. Rygel points out Ja Rule sitting on a ledge above them and a line of jurors. A woman in a black and red robe bangs the court to order with a silver saltshaker. Why doesn't anyone use regular hammer gavels any more? Are they dangerous? Do the heads keep flying off and killing people, or something? Are there no good gavel makers to ensure the safety of our courtrooms, board of supervisor meetings, or He-Man Women-Haters clubs anymore? Apparently, a hammer gavel from these people recently appeared on Regis and Kelly. Must be pretty special. I wonder if Kelly insulted the entire gaveling community when she said she didn't know where the handle had been. Between the Klingons and these folks, I'm quite nostalgic for the old ways. I think I'm going to start a Facebook group called "Bring Back the Hammer Gavels" or "Where Have All the Hammer Gavels Gone?" or "Desperately Seeking Hammer Gavels."

While I'm on the procrastination train and doing everything I can not to go on with this episode, I want to take some time to analyze Judge Joody's homage to the black and the red. Basically, it's the progeny of a Harvard doctoral candidate's robes and those of Cardinal Wolsey, complete with lavish fat gold chain. Her hat, however, is a completely different story. I mean, am I just really hungry or did someone stick a gigantic Peppermint Joe-Joe on her head? Follow-up thought: string some Smarties off of her and she could be that chick from Singles who dressed up as The Pill for a SafeSex party.

Farscape

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