While I'm on the procrastination train and doing everything I can not to go on with this episode, I want to take some time to analyze Judge Joody's homage to the black and the red. Basically, it's the progeny of a Harvard doctoral candidate's robes and those of Cardinal Wolsey, complete with lavish fat gold chain. Her hat, however, is a completely different story. I mean, am I just really hungry or did someone stick a gigantic Peppermint Joe-Joe on her head? Follow-up thought: string some Smarties off of her and she could be that chick from Singles who dressed up as The Pill for a SafeSex party.
As though invoking a prayer -- heads bowed and everything -- Judge Joody intones, "We convene in the name of that which is most holy: the supreme law of the land." She flares her hand at them, "Amet." Get it? They worship law? I don't know what to do with that "Amet," though. Doesn't sound remotely religious. OH WAIT IT DOES. Judge Joody reminds us of the charges against Zhaan and then starts to deliver her sentence. Zhaan interrupts her with a plea about her innocence. "Are you entering a plea of not guilty?" Judge Joody wonders. "I am guilty of so many evils your honor but --" Zhaan, this is NOT the time to get philosophical about all your issues, okay? You tell these law-worshipping folks that you are "guilty of so many evils," and by Ginsburg, they will convict you of all of those as well. So, please, just shut up! Zhaan insists she's innocent in this particular matter, something, her lawyer loudly announces, that she hasn't discussed with him. Dersh then gives up his representation of Zhaan, so Judge Joody explains that without a lawyer, Zhaan's plea cannot be entered. "Unless..." Judge Joody says, pointing the way to the loophole, "there is someone else who would be willing advocate the defendant's cause?" I sort of hoped for a Trading Places moment here when Billy Ray calls out for a lawyer, but alas, the lawyers in this room are all stony-faced and silent. Judge Joody says she has no choice but to proceed with declaring Zhaan guilty. She bangs her saltshaker. Chiana and Rygel give a holler. Chiana runs up to Zhaan's dock and says it's all dren and that she can't let Zhaan be condemned. Zhaan hisses at her to stop it and orders her back to Moya. Chiana looks at Zhaan and then back at Rygel and says, "Our offer stands, your honor." They will be Zhaan's lawyers. Judge Joody bangs her saltshaker and makes it so. Initial sentencing over, Zhaan is taken back to her cell.