B'Sogg, who is clearly able to exert some sort of verbal control over the keedva, explains, "It's a primitive animal but intelligent in its own way. Over the years, we have developed a mutually beneficial relationship." Crichton says he doesn't need to hear about B'Sogg's personal life. The keedva plants his big, furry butt in front of Crichton and opens his maw loudly. Crichton tells the keedva, "You know, I should warn you, I don't taste too good." I think many would beg to differ. Or at least, they'd love to be given the chance to decide that for themselves. Chiana's voice echoes down the tunnels as she shouts his name. B'Sogg backs out, leaving Crichton and the keedva alone together. Crichton tries to reason with the keedva as one would a rabid dog, but it doesn't really get him anywhere. He throws something for the keedva to fetch and, like a dog, the keedva turns to fetch in the opposite direction. The keedva's eyes are so weird looking -- and oddly positioned right on top of his head -- that he might actually be blind. They look like they have skin growing over where eyeballs would be -- sort of like Dementors, but bulgier. Crichton shouts at the keedva to go in the other direction and when the keedva does, Crichton yells encouragingly, "Good boy!" Having none of that sort of condescending talk, the keedva backhands Crichton across the cave and then hustles over to salivate over him. "No more of that Captain Kirk chit-chat," Crichton says, thoroughly confusing me. I was sort of thinking of this episode as "Devil in the Dark" -- the one where Kirk and Spock are trapped in caves by a sentient silicone egg-laying sausage pizza -- and I don't remember Kirk really talking to it. Spock mind-melds with it, but they aren't too chatty. Was Kirk overly chatty with beasties on Star Trek? It was...alwaysHIS...constiPATED...deliverywithodd...STARTSandSTOPS that struck me. Maybe Crichton's thinking of all the times Kirk caused a computer to smoke and die just by yelling at it?
Crichton slams his foot between the keedva's legs and the keedva rears back and roars in pain. The keedva tosses Crichton around some more, so Crichton decides to play a dodge-and-weave game with it. He lures the keedva into position and then climbs up its front and vaults over it. The somersault was completely unnecessary and pure showoffiness. Crichton darts through the spiked door and slams it shut with the keedva on the other side. Slightly catching his breath, Crichton draws upon Luke fighting the rancor in Return of the Jedi and opens the spiked door only to slam it several times until he finally gets the poor keedva caught between a rock and a bunch of nasty spikes. With pathetic ROUS' whimpers, the keedva dies. Aw.