Farscape
Farscape

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 867 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Zhaan Goes To Seed

B'Sogg creeps his way out of the caverns until he hears a singsong-y, "B'Sogg -- turn around!" It's Chiana. With a gun. And once again, Chiana is doing those weird body contortions that tend to bug me quite a bit. Her toes turned out in First Position, Chiana's taken quite a wide stance for one not in a MSP airport bathroom. If anyone ever exercised to -- or sat on the couch and just watched while aimlessly kicking legs halfheartedly -- Cindy Crawford's The Next Challenge, Chiana looks like she's about do launch into frog jumps. With hysteria creeping into her voice, she orders B'Sogg to drop his gun and kick it away. He does. She demands to know where Crichton is. B'Sogg feigns ignorance and then says with condescending surprise, "Chiana, you're a thief and a trelk, but you're not a killer." "I'm evolving as an individual," Chiana assures him. Heh. B'Sogg says he knows her and she won't shoot him in cold blood, "You can't do it." I swear to fucking god -- whenever a baddie says tauntingly, "You can't do it," it just goads the other person into being all, "Oh, yeah?! Watch me!" Just to prove them wrong. And make them dead. However, here, Chiana agrees that she can't shoot him in cold blood. She lowers her weapon but only to step sideways, raise it again, and scream, as she blasts open a pustule. The yellow acid spews all over B'Sogg's arm and we watch the skin drip off, exposing bone, blood, muscle, and what looks like the actor's actual hand. B'Sogg whimpers and screams as his flesh drops squealchily to the ground. "You biiitch! What did you do!" "Bitch" is a word in the UT? Chiana's look of exultation falters as she starts to look scared and wonder: what did she just do? She won't let B'Sogg see this, though, and she turns from the horror on the cave floor and walks dazedly away, wondering if evolution is always that messy. B'Sogg moans at her not to leave him there to suffer, but Chiana, though terrified by what she did, isn't terrified enough to give him the same mercy she showed his brother.

Back on Moya, everyone feasts. Well, everyone else eats, while Zhaan -- her planter's warts receding -- feasts. She holds her empty plate up to Aeryn, who is standing at the prime rib carving station, and mews at her. Aeryn tells her it's her fourth plate. "More," Zhaan nudges like a baby. Aeryn piles more meat on Zhaan's plate and asks D'Argo if he wants more. Before answering, D'Argo looks around for Chiana. She's standing off by herself and looks back at him with terror. D'Argo passes on more food and walks off to join her. Zhaan mumbles how wonderful the food is. "Yeah," Crichton drawls, "Carolina-style keedva -- best barbecue this side of a budong." Oh, Crichton, I hate to argue with you but I don't think Zhaan would have waited the Carolina requisite fourteen hours of slow cooking. Let's just call it roast beast and be done, okay? He stands up heavily and undoes his belt. Zhaan thanks him for everything. "Pleasure," Crichton says, still drawling, "Y'all dig in now." He leaves. Probably to rustle up some Tums, drectly. Zhaan turns a timid face up to Aeryn, and they trade awkward looks. Aeryn tells her quietly that Pilot is very relieved Zhaan is recovering. Zhaan says, "Well, as much as I was suffering, your experience was also painful. I only made it more difficult for you." Not looking at her, Aeryn tells her she wasn't herself. "No, I was the mindless savage I accused you of being," Zhaan admits, "But it wasn't very pleasant reverting back to such a primitive, vicious state." Aeryn looks down at her. "I'm sorry for what I said," Zhaan says, gazing up at her. Aeryn just piles more meat on her plate, "Here, eat. Don't talk." Zhaan smiles.

Farscape

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