Farscape
Farscape

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 867 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Zhaan Goes To Seed

Deep in the fetid tissues of the budong, Crichton bitches about the smell of the place. D'Argo points out the obvious, "What did you expect? It's a corpse." Seriously. D'Argo quietly asks Chiana about Temmon, "Why didn't you tell us about him before?" And by "us," he means, "me" because Aeryn's not the only one feeling pangs of jealousy. Except, again, it's not that simple. Like Aeryn, D'Argo is too tough to be derailed by jealous tendencies, especially when he has -- as yet -- no real claim on Chiana or her affections and therefore has no reason to expect fidelity. If anything, D'Argo is at the point in his infatuation where he just wants to learn all he can about Chiana because he's interested in her. He's also still sort of acting parental towards her. Chiana, deciding that D'Argo's question could only mean he wants her, gives him an open-mouthed, come-hither look, and doesn't answer. She's still treating D'Argo like a toy. Not really caring too deeply about his feelings, she wants him hungry and left wanting. Chiana tells Crichton that once she tells Temmon that Neri's dead, he'll forget all about the money she stole from him. However, her shaking voice and refusal to meet Crichton's eyes tells us that she doesn't quite believe that herself. Crichton clutches his pearls at the idea of Chiana using her dead brother to play on Temmon's sympathy. "I have a plan!" Chiana retorts, staring Crichton down, her voice much stronger. After Crichton repeats this sarcastically to D'Argo, an alarm goes off. Chiana announces, "An attack! D'Argo, Crichton! A keedva!" Everyone runs off and a tall dude with a crow feather collar steps out of a cave and stares after them.

In another cavern, people flock around a body being pulled out of the mine on a mine cart. It's Temmon. "This is who's going to help us?" Rygel sniffs, annoyed at the inconvenience. Temmon's only mostly dead, though, and his eyelids flutter when Chiana mewls his name repeatedly. Temmon moans at Chiana not to let him suffer like this and says, "Get B'Sogg." Chiana looks around, grabs a pick-axe from someone and plunges it into Temmon's gut, killing him. D'Argo yanks the sobbing Chiana away and demands to know what she's doing. Chiana kicks D'Argo away from her and shrieks, "If that stuff touches you, you're dead anyway!" I kinda wanted someone to yank the pick-axe out of Temmon's gut, lick it, and mutter, "Nuthin'!" on this Budong of Misfit Toys. Some guy wearing a card dealer's visor, a very blinged-out black quilted vest, and a white Peter Pan collar puts on this Old South accent and singsongs, "Smack! Smack into a puuuuss-TULE! Keedva must've been after him." Okay, why does a rotting corpse miner look like he should be playing poker on some riverboat while we all get "Ol' Man River" stuck in our heads? Waving the fumes off the dead body up to his nose and smelling them as one might do a particularly savory stew, Grangerford Shepherdson next explains to Crichton that a keedva is "a vicious beast that feeds off the budong; chews up anything that gets in the way." I can't do justice to this guy's weird Aussie-cum-Jezebel accent

Farscape

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