Look At The Princess (1): A Kiss Is But A Kiss

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Escape From Wedded Bliss

Time for Clavor to demonstrate that he's even less stealthy than Katralla. He, his girlfriend, and Cargn are hanging out in a not-very-secluded wooden gazebo-y thing. Cargn wants to kill Crichton. Get in line. Clavor bitches that Cargn has screwed up, and threatens to go tattling to the Empress. Cargn heatwaves Clavor and asks, "Can you see past your childishness to see any betrayal means your instant death, even if mine follows?" Clavor concedes the point, and Cargn releases him and turns on Jenavia. He makes the air around her go woobly and asks, "As I interrogated your loving fiancee, what was going through your delicate little mind?" Jenavia croaks, "I was hoping you wouldn't wear that to our wedding!" All righty. Cargn releases her, and Jenavia collapses and daintily pukes over the side of the gazebo. Cargn growls, "Destiny's couple, you are."

Zhaan stares out at some spooky glowing space-clouds and asks Pilot whyMoyahas come here. Pilot says, "I assume it has something to do with that," as a tendril of smoke zips out of the clouds and swishes toward them. Pilot reports that whatever it is, it's alive, and Moyarecognizes it. Zhaan asks who it is, and after a moment Pilot says in awed tones, "The builders. Her creators. Her...God!" Oh dear. That never goes well.

Chiana gasps and rocks forward even more suggestively than she does most things. Crichton pops into the frame and asks, "Did you hear about the statue?!" He adds a casual, "Hi, Chiana," as the angle changes so that we can admire her nekkid gray back. Crichton is ignoring her nekkid gray front as he rants, "Eighty cycles! That is roughly eighty years to you and me, and over five hundred years to dogs!" He sits down on the bed, stewing. Chiana continues to...well, she continues, is all. Then D'Argo's head emerges from under a pile of blankets, and he sighs, "Why don't you stay and tell us about it, John?" Heh. A frustrated Chiana gets up and leaves. She's probably pissed that she had to get her whole torso airbrushed for 30 seconds of footage. Especially since D'Argo avoids the nudity problem by wrapping the blanket around himself as he sits down next to Crichton. Crichton asks if D'Argo knew about the statue. D'Argo calmly says, "I don't know about it now." Apparently right after the wedding, Crichton and Katralla will be turned into statues for eighty years so they can "preside" over the senate. He burbles: "We can see, we can hear. Don't ask me how. And we're supposed to absorb every single facet of the governmental system that way, so when Mom and Pops finally kick it, we rule." Pops? Is there an Emperor lurking around somewhere? I guess he's like King Lotharon. D'Argo observes that the statue scheme has kept the society peaceful for 99 cycles, so maybe there's something to it. Crichton glares at him for a moment and grumps, "You're like a brochure." Crichton's voice gradually rises as he says: "My college loans will be delinquent. I'll miss the strippers on my hundredth birthday. I'll get a utility bill for three trillion dollars for a single porch light that I left on, and everybody I know will be dead!" D'Argo says that it's that or Scorpius's tender mercies. Crichton's stares at D'Argo without blinking for quite a while as he explains that humans don't live all that long. His voice catches for a second as he says, "When I get back, everybody -- my dad, D.K., my sisters, Cameron Diaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- will be dead!" D'Argo says that Crichton may never see those people again anyway. Crichton works his jaw a little, before slowly saying, "Hope, D'Argo. It's what keeps you going. You're gonna see your son. I'm gonna get home. Hope. I have hope, or I have nothing." Aw, poor Crichton. He sits down heavily on the bed and covers his eyes. D'Argo more sympathetically points out that Crichton will be free of Scorpius, plus he'll have security and a family. "Perhaps you've only just discovered your true destiny." Crichton pulls his hands away from his face in that "I'm just casually wiping my eyes, and not because I'm crying, no sir!" way, and raspily says that D'Argo's been spending too much time with Chiana. The camera slowly pushes in on Crichton as D'Argo natters on about how Crichton has to go past his fears and see what the future holds. Crichton finally says that if he marries Katralla, D'Argo has to be his best man. D'Argo looks uncomfortable and raises his eyebrows as he explains, "I'm with Chiana now, John." Crichton squints for a second and looks down, frustrated.

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