Look At The Princess (1): A Kiss Is But A Kiss

Episode Report Card
Strega: B | Grade It Now!
Escape From Wedded Bliss

Crichton tries to confront Aeryn in the corridor, but she dodges and silently continues on her way. He wants to talk. Aeryn moans, "I want to talk less." Crichton points out, "We tried that. It leads to kissing." She groans and wheels, and he quickly says it was a joke "to relieve the tension." Aeryn says she wants some space. He snaps, "Fine, have the whole universe," and stomps on. While Aeryn lurks in the background, Crichton decides that he's still got to make up some ground if he's going to match Aeryn in the "behave like a bratty teenager" competition they've got going. Seriously, does being in space for a while make everyone regress this way? He calls out for Chiana. Off-screen, we hear Chiana gasp, "...yes," in a, shall we say, distracted way. Crichton obliviously asks if she'd like to come along with him to check out the planet. He turns to peer at Aeryn, who laughs, and Chiana moans, "Yeah," again. Aeryn sniffs, "That's good," and walks away. Crichton asks Chiana if he can come in, and before getting an answer he enters the room. Where, of course, Chiana and D'Argo are having a close encounter. Chiana gasps shrilly while D'Argo yodels and waves Crichton away. Crichton quickly ducks out of the room and gasps, "Bad timing! Good time -- uh, sorry, wrong time!"

Landing bay. D'Argo confides in Crichton: "My life has been one crushing disappointment after the next. But with this girl, I have managed to find moments of pleasure." And Crichton almost got to witness one of them. The boy-talk pauses while Aeryn and Chiana pass by. When they're out of earshot, D'Argo adds, "Don't blow it for me." Hee. Crichton insists that he's happy for D'Argo, and D'Argo heads out after Chiana. Crichton wonders, "How come I'm always last to know?"

Planetside, everyone's found their way to a bar. The natives are dressed in white, like it's one of those creepy parties from My Super Sweet 16, and they're drinking from little vials that look like Sorry! pawns made of glass. Rygel and Aeryn exposit that these are "breakaway colonies" that, well, broke away from the Peacekeepers thousands of years ago. Crichton bustles up and asks if Aeryn will talk to him if he buys her a drink. Aeryn sniffs, "You mean now that Chiana's occupied? Made a run at Zhaan, yet?" Crichton is rescued when a brunette sidles over and sips from the magic vial. She holds the vial out for Crichton, and he says, "No, no, I stopped raving years ago." Oh, honey, you're never going to stop raving. That's your purpose on this show. She insists, "It doesn't hurt you. It's just for the kiss." Crichton looks at Aeryn, who gives him a "I know you won't..." look. Naturally, Crichton decides to taste the potion, and he and the woman touch their tongues together delicately. Crichton says, "No taste -- kinda like an old --" and alas, we'll never know what it's like, because the woman pulls him in for a deeper kiss. Aeryn gulps her drink as the kiss finally ends. The woman says, "Sorry," and exits. Aeryn leans in and says, "It's a whole world designed for your rutting instincts." On cue, a guy who looks like the lead singer from Mudhoney approaches and holds a vial up toward Aeryn. Aeryn quickly declines, and adds, "Try [Crichton]; he seems to love kissing." Mudhoney-dude obligingly turns to Crichton and presents the vial. Crichton's not interested and turns to find another girl is offering him a vial. One kiss later, she gives him a disappointed look and leaves. Crichton chirps, "I am never leaving this world!" I like how oblivious he is to the reactions of the women.

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