Look At The Princess (1): A Kiss Is But A Kiss

Episode Report Card
Strega: B | Grade It Now!
Escape From Wedded Bliss

We pan over people dancing goofily, and this is where I always start having Buck Rogers flashbacks. If they were on roller skates it would be perfect. A woman offscreen says, "Clavor, my sweet, there's a Sebacean down here your sister hasn't kissed yet." We move up to a small gathering on a catwalk. Wow, so this is basically the Bronze in 2080. There's a chick wearing some kind of Faberge egg as a mood-necklace. And also a Scarran. Scarrans are what happened when H.R. Pufnstuf heard about Altamont. This particular Scarran is angry because 1) he's a Scarran, 2) his name is Cargn, and 3) he thought visitors weren't allowed. Oh, and 4) he's trying to work in some more expository dialogue into what's already a rather dense episode. See, the dark-haired, weaselly dude he's talking to, Clavor, is brother to the still-unseen princess. The Faberge chick is Clavor's girlfriend, Janavia. With that out of the way, Cargn reminds Clavor that, "[the princess's] chemical compatibility is irrevocably altered. You will be king." Got that? No, you don't, because we don't know what the hell's going on, really. Relax. All will become clear eventually. Well, clear-ish.

Crichton is getting more smoochies while Rygel chats with Tyno -- the muckity-muck that gave them permission to land, remember? Rygel thinks it's odd that they're celebrating a coronation without knowing who, exactly, will be coronated. Tyno explains, "As first born, it was always intended for Princess Katralla. But by law, unless she can find a compatible mate, the kingdom will fall to her younger brother." Aha! It seems worth noting that Rygel has a straw in whatever he's drinking. That's fantastic. I hope Steve Martin was their waiter.

Back on the catwalk, Clavor helpfully mentions that he will recognize the Scarran Imperium when he's king, "Even if [Cargn is] the best they could send." He's a master of diplomacy. Cargn grrs. Jenavia decides it's time to mention her own agenda, so she tells Clavor that she'll only marry him if he's king. She's not very supportive. But she is helping me out, since we have at least established the major players in this particular I, Claudius plotline, and what their various motives are. For the time being.

Oh, the B plot. On Moya, Pilot asks Zhaan why she didn't go planetside. Zhaan explains that this way she can do all of her scenes in a day or two and take some time off. She begins to sing or pray or conduct a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Pilot and Moya seem to dig it, though.

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