Look At The Princess (2): I Do, I Think

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The Princess Bride

D'Argo, Crichton, Chiana, and Tyno are pedeconferencing. D'Argo says that Crichton needs better protection, and Tyno's all huffy about Crichton assaulting the Prince. Chiana proudly chirps, "You bitch-slapped the tralk!" Tyno says that there's no evidence that anyone attacked Crichton, and Crichton explains, "The same weapon that was used on me was used to disintegrate the assailants." It was? They were? What an odd thing to do. Tyno confirms that this was the work of Crichton's "mysterious savior." D'Argo bellows, "Are you doubting Crichton?" and before Tyno can answer, Chiana notes, "It is a weird story." D'Argo snaps at her while Tyno agrees to upgrade security and tell the Empress what happened. He explains that nobody will believe the accusation because "the Empress, and by extension the entire Royal Family, abhors personal violence." On cue, Katralla walks up, taps Crichton on the shoulder, and then slaps him. Hard. It sounds like the foley artist dropped an unabridged dictionary on the floor. She tells Crichton to come with her.

Once they're in private, Katralla says that Crichton has humiliated her, and then slaps him again. Crichton says she's made her point, but she's not close to done. "My brother poisoned my DNA; I know. I am not a fool. But he would never kill anyone." I wish they would stop talking about poisoned DNA. Crichton suggests that maybe the Scarran was behind the attack. Katralla huffs, "If you don't want to marry me, just say so." Crichton calmly points out that he has said so, adding. "We have been over this ground with a backhoe. It saves my life; it saves your ass." Katralla slaps him again. Crichton confesses he deserved it that time, but I'm not sure why. For referring to her royal booty? Katralla says that now the Empress wants Crichton to be tested some more to make sure he's mentally stable. Oh dear. The wedding's off. She explains, "Clavor is weak. I cannot believe that he would participate in such a heinous act. That means you're lying. And if so, I cannot marry you."

Pilot tells Zhaan that the "smoke tendril" has invadedMoya. Zhaan runs down the corridor, and Pilot directs her to the maintenance bay. Once there, mist oozes out of the wall behind her, and when a DRD whirrs in alarm, Zhaan turns to see a cloud swirling in the chamber. A figure slowly emerges. It's...Londo Mollari! He’s replaced his silly hair with an artificial laurel wreath. The DRD scurries to hide behind a wheel of the Farscape. Zhaan begins chanting and bows her head, but in an echoey voice, Londo says, "Be calm, Priest. I am the ship's deity, not yours." Zhaan reminds us that Londo is one of the Builders, "those who gave Leviathans intelligence." Londo purrs, "Anybody can give a machine intelligence. We gave her a soooul." The first part is self-evidently untrue, which makes me kind of skeptical about the second part. The actor, Jonathan Hardy, does Rygel's voice as well, and his voice here sounds the way Rygel would if he was stoned out of his cotton-wadding. Londo says that he's checked Moya out, and noted that she's healthy and that she's given birth. Zhaan says, "A male offspring, named Talyn." Less enthusiastically, Londo adds, "A gunship." Pilot begins to explain the circumstances, but is cut off in mid-sentence. Londo tells Zhaan, "Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu." I'm not sure if that's his name, or the name of his race, but either way I can stop calling him Londo. Zhaan harrumphs, "A capricious deity." Is there any other kind? Kahaynu says that the Leviathans are emissaries of peace, and since Moya has produced a distinctly violent ship, he's got some bad news: "I am here to decommission Moya. To end her existence."

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