Farscape
Look At The Princess (2): I Do, I Think

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The Princess Bride

Crichton, Katralla, and Ro-Na are all splayed out in a hallway, wheezing. Katralla moans, "I doubted you. I'm sorry." Crichton croaks, "S'all right. Just the burden of being right all the time." Katralla says that she'll marry him. So I guess the news that her fiancee isn't a liar balances out knowing that her own life is in danger now.

A close up of the defused death globe. The Empress tells Rygel, "John Crichton may not leave this planet. But I will protect him." Rygel snickers at the protection she's provided so far, and the Empress snits that the death globe wasn't detected because it's new to them. That's not at all reassuring, Empress. Rygel says that it's probably a Scarran weapon. The Empress gets huffy about accusations against Clavor, and Rygel sighs, "Aren't we past that, Novia? You posture and deny any longer and we both lose what we want." Rygel proposes hiding Crichton somewhere until they figure out what's going on -- since Moya hasn't turned up, he can't escape. The Empress ponders, and mentions that the Jakent -- Ro-Na's race -- has a transport full of wedding gifts in orbit. They can stash Crichton on it. Rygel suggests that they tell no one about the plan. "Let them all think that Crichton has disappeared." The Empress mysteriously figures that this will encourage the assassins to be careless. Without anyone to assassinate, how careless can the plotters be? Are they gonna start running around stabbing behind curtains at random, just in case Crichton's there? Rygel and the Empress feel pretty smug about the plan, so I guess that's all that matters. Rygel asks if the Empress trusts Ro-Na, and the Empress firmly declares, "With my secrets and my life. Ro-Na will not betray us." Well, I think we all know what that means...

Cut to Scorpius crossing Ro-Na's palm with silver. Or something similarly shiny. The ear-flap on Scorpius's gimp-hood has popped open and a metal frame has been extruded out of Scorpy's skull. A flunky is placing a blue lightstick into the frame as Scorpy asks Ro-Na if anything's wrong. Also, in the background there are koalas flying through the air on jetpacks. Okay, there aren't, if there were you wouldn't notice because did I mention the lightstick and the frame popping OUT OF HIS SKULL? That's a great party trick. Ro-Na gasps that it's a lot of money. As the flunky finishes, the frame begins spinning and gradually screws itself back into his head. Scorpius, zen as ever, says that this is one quarter of the payment Ro-Na will eventually receive. Once his skull is resealed, Scorpius signs happily, and then holds up a little plastic thingamajig. Ro-Na identifies it as a "trans-sequence ident waver," and says she knows how to use it. Scorpius says, "Good!" and suddenly pulls a very unhappy Ro-Na into his lap. He tells her, "I predict that very shortly you'll be the wealthiest Jakent in this part of the galaxy." Ro-Na grabs the thingamajig, squeaks, "Thank you!" and runs away. We finally see Scorpius's flunky, who turns out to be a blonde dominatrix. Of course. Scorpius tells her, "Inform Lieutenant Braca that at the conclusion of his mission there are to be no witnesses left behind." The dominatrix nods, and exits with her lightstick case. Scorpius monologues, "Oh to be there when the scales fall from John Crichton's eyes."

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Farscape

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