Look At The Princess (3): The Maltese Crichton

Episode Report Card
Strega: B | Grade It Now!
The Runaway Groom

On Moya, the DRDs are assisting Zhaan as she fiddles with some equipment on the Farscape. Kahaynu advises her to use a transport pod to leave. He says, "All life is precious. Yours should continue." Zhaan sulks, "And Moya's shouldn't?" Kahaynu testily explains about the gunships again, and says that it's time for him to leave. He starts hovering away, but Zhaan stomps after him, lecturing, "If Moya's life is to end capriciously, and Pilot's also, you and I are going to remain with them!" Kahaynu isn't interested in joining the wake. Zhaan ponders for a moment and then tells the DRD, "Now! In reverse!" The DRD beeps at the controls and pushes a button. Behind Kahaynu, the Farscape's engine whirrs to life and its fan begins sucking up his contrail. Zhaan orders him to recommission Moya. Kahaynu says that he can't and begs her to turn the engine off. As his form swirls away, Zhaan hisses, "How does it feel for your prayers to go unanswered, Kahaynu?" He gasps, and then he, and the smoke, are gone. The engine shuts down, and it takes Zhaan about two seconds to start repenting. She whispers, "Dear Goddess. In my rage, what have I done?" Zhaan, pick an attitude and commit to it, okay?

Chiana sits up in bed as D'Argo enters. She's wearing a white robe that's kind of flocked or something. It's pretty. D'Argo sits down wearily and says, "I cannot find Crichton's head anywhere." Hee. It's just a funny line. D'Argo isn't really able to see the humor, though. He moans, "I'm the one who talked him into it." Chiana pulls him close and reminds him, "We had no other options. You said that yourself. We take what we get."

Cut to Crichton's head, which is pulled out of the bag by Jenavia. She puts on the headphones just in time to hear Crichton give a particularly ear-shattering scream, and lifts the headphones away with a grimace. Crichton shouts, "My body! My body!" She calmly assures him that she's working on it, adding, "If I do this right, your current state is not terminal." She's in the statue room, and there's a guard unconscious on the floor, which is a nice touch. She fusses with some equipment as Crichton asks what happens if it's not done right. "Terminal," Jenavia replies. Crichton snaps at her to go find some experts. She says he's too vulnerable to spend time on that. Crichton asks if she's got a plan. Jenavia says she's going to "revitalize" him, noting, "Your speech abilities are so limited right now you couldn't convince the empress you're a headless statue." I like her. She finishes playing with the Stargatery and picks up Crichton's head. He says, "Woah, nice dress." Heh. Jenavia says, "Save it. When the empress sees you my true fiancee and his Scarran will be in deep dren. Then you can be remade into a statue." Crichton is unimpressed by her plan. She plops his head onto his body and gives it a sharp twist while muttering about aligning the parts. Crichton grunts as if that hurt, which doesn't make any sense, but whatever makes him happy. She starts for the controls, and Crichton starts yipping at her to wait a second. She pulls off the headphones and presses a switch. One ray of magic light later, Crichton is defrosted. He works his jaw and slowly lowers his arm as Jenavia asks if he can turn his neck. He moves his head a little, and she asks if he can speak. After a few groans, he finally says, "Thank you." She asks if he can walk. He moves to stand up, and falls over. That's a no, then. Jenavia rolls her eyes and sighs.

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