Taking the Stone

Episode Report Card
Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now!
Everybody Must Get Stoned

Back on Moya, Zhaan is chanting over Rygel, who now has the death mask clapped on his own face. Rygel snaps at Zhaan to shut up several times, but she just chants faster. She's doing it for his benefit because his stolen items might be cursed. Rygel scoffs at this and says the curse -- if there is one, which there isn't! -- will just be on him. "Yes, it will," Zhaan agrees, and leaves.

Back with the freaks, the pregnant lilac-haired Stoner stumbles around with a bottle. It's one of those corn liquor jugs that always have "XXX" marked on them in cartoons. Oh, I just realized that her stomach isn't shiny because she painted it or is wearing lame; her stomach is transparent. You can see into her womb! I have never seen a surer-fire method of birth control. Yuck. Aeryn walks in and, calling her Vyna -- we'll learn these names yet! -- says she's sorry about Das. Vyna smiles drunkenly and tells her not to be. Crichton, getting all Arthur Dimmesdale on us, primly tells Vyna she shouldn't be drinking. How does he know that alcohol is bad for fetuses in the UT? Maybe it's their version of pre-natal vitamins. Vyna offers Crichton and Aeryn a drink, but they shake their heads. Crichton demands to know what Vyna and Chiana were talking about on the cliffs. "When narl comes, Chiana wants to jump. I gave her my blessing," Vyna giggles, and stumbles off. Aeryn and Crichton look concerned.

Goddammit, Chiana's singing to the damn stones again. Crichton wants to talk to her. She doesn't want to talk to him. Crichton apologizes for blowing her off. Chiana gets down from her perch and goes off on Crichton, telling him it's not about him: "I'm not your kid, I'm not your sister, and I'm only your tralk in your dreams." Chiana yells at him to go away. He's trying to help. She doesn't want or need his help. Aeryn, sitting off to the side, blinks wearily. Chiana likes it on the cemetery planet and she likes the people. Just like a misguided parent, Crichton attacks her friends, calling them all druggies and slackers. Or something along those lines. Chiana doesn't see what's so wonderful about being stuck on Moya and points out that it was Crichton himself who said she could leave the ship whenever she wanted. "Well, see ya," Chiana tells him. Crichton glares at Mom -- I mean, "Aeryn" -- and tells her, "Feel free to jump in at any time." Aeryn sadly points out that it's Chiana's choice. Crichton storms off. Taking the softer approach, Aeryn talks to Chiana about joining the clan and asks if she's really going to jump. "I might," Chiana says sadly, confused by why Crichton went away when she ordered him to.

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