Farscape
Terra Firma

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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John watches the sun come up in a mostly clear sky, sitting at a dock and staring into space. Unused fishing tackle sits near him on the dock as he muses about how weird it is being back on Earth after all this time wanting to come home, how seeing his family and friends again is so weirdly normal. We see him in a large hanger, scientists everywhere, on a tour with Holt and Holt's toupee. DK's new wife Laura grabs him, and DK comes up as well, grinning: "Married on a boat in Naples. Wish you could have been there." John teases the woman: "You said he was a geek!" She agrees he still is, everybody's cute, everybody laughs.

"I figured Earth would freak out," John continues on the dock, "And it's delivered in spades, on time, thirty minutes or less." A small army of press surge toward Farscape 1 and Lo'La, trying to get to John and D'Argo. "Uncle Sam is keeping the aliens safe and contained. A waterfront mansion for their personal use, with full security team standing by." Moya's crew file toward it, led by Holt and S.S. agents. "It's a cage, but at least it's a gilded one." It's a pretty awesome house, actually, but it's not like Merv Griffin awesome, as gilded cages go. Entering, Noranti grabs a flower arrangement and chows down, assuring Chiana that it's delicious. Sikozu takes a bite of an apple and immediately spits it on the floor. Chiana giggles and stretches on the couch while Aeryn checks out the fireplace.

"Of course, the suits are more interested in the technology, no surprise there, so we let 'em look." John advises a group of nerds on proper pulse pistol maintenance; one of them tries at target practice and accidentally blows out several computers, for some reason, causing people to jump. "They just can't comprehend what they're looking at, much less replicate it." John's journal is a very interesting mix of alien and English, which is...John's got beautiful handwriting. It looks like a Tolkien appendix. Some of them are accepting translator microbes, and we see D'Argo speaking Luxan at a man who's getting injected by a DRD, slowly fading into English. Neat. "But even translator microbes aren't gonna help some people listen. Not that you can blame them." D'Argo looks up from the old guy and yells at a man approaching Lo'La -- he touches the forcefield and gets bounced, screaming. Eyes are rolled.

This is a funny little episode, by one Richard Manning -- it's chock-full of little handjobs for the faithful, but also tells a whole story that's central to the mythos. As a quasi-critic you have to roll your eyes -- Caroline's sainthood, Jack's abrupt turnaround -- but speaking as one of those wide-eyed faithful, it rocks. "At least the alien life's not going too crazy." Which would be relative to what exactly? Chiana and Sikozu get their hotness on lounging by the pool, and for once the show gives us a hint of mercy: instead of strapping on a two-piece, Noranti's futzing around with a barbeque grill. Aeryn opens the gate for John's sister, Olivia, who's carrying a cooler. John tells us that his family's been hanging out and helping the aliens, as Olivia offers to bring Aeryn some clothes. She looks down at her leather and thanks her. My friend Andy always said that it was too bad for Buffy because no matter how well she got her shit together, she'd never be fit for human company; not sure I agree, but he said the same thing applies to John and Aeryn: They can never rest. And I always think of this moment with the leather when I think about that. The walking wounded and the war-scarred incomprehensible.

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Farscape

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