Maldis introduces Round 115 and John and Crais face off once again. They can both go to hell too, frankly, if they're not going to do anything. (This recap is really just sliding into an area, isn't it?)

Zhaan and Liko do the shoulder thing and go into trances and start to vibe toward Maldis.

Fighting. John finally just gives up and starts choking the shit out of Crais. Whoa. I never noticed that little parallel before. That's kind of awesome. Although I guess I have to figure out a way to hate John now, seems like. Which is not happening. "I returned him to his ship," chuckles Maldis, and John shouts. "Bring him back! I had him!" Ugly. You think that's cruel? "Yes, you did -- took you long enough, but you finally did what I wanted." Which is to bring him Crais's Command Carrier, by making both John and Crais go crazy(er). Imagine what he could do with that! "Carnage on a truly massive scale!"

Zhaan and Liko: her eyes roll back and turn dark blue, he groans and acts like it's all just too very hard to be magical.

"You want him to keep pursuing me," John stutters out. "So if he brings his ship within reach..." Yep. "He was seriously thinking of taking it home. Can you believe that? Now he'll never turn back! Deeper and deeper into the Uncharted Territory he'll go. And sooner or later, that ship will be mine." Given Crais's utter inability to find John, I don't know why Maldis doesn't just send out like a "PKs are Gaylords" email while Crais is still close by.

(Or, I don't know, how about this: MALDIS WAS ALREADY ONBOARD THE COCKADOODIE CARRIER WHEN HE ABDUCTED ITS COMMANDING OFFICER NOT A GODDAMN HALF-HOUR AGO. Or maybe I just don't get the real on space vampires in stupid clothes. I am...totally at peace with that. Or maybe I'm missing something. It's just that this episode is so terribly long, and they keep doing the same shit over and over and saying the same shit over and over like just Ctrl-V Ctrl-V Ctrl-V Ctrl-V and I am dying here. Why do I love this episode so much? Looking at it on paper it's like the laziest fucking thing ever. It's an act structure, an outline, with nothing filled in for the middle Acts. "See above re: what everybody's.. still doing.")

John hates that Maldis has screwed him by resetting everything to status quo, plus admittedly a little extra crazy -- which is like a third thing that has no relative value, bughouse is bughouse when you're talking about Crais -- and so he tries to stab Maldis, which does not work, and them Maldis decides he was telling the truth before about how one of them goes home and the other one dies, so that'll be John then, and Maldis gets super spooky, and John drops the knife.