That Old Black Magic

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
When We First Took The Pill

Physically, you've got John slamming his dislocated shoulder into the wall. Something that is interesting in theory and should be in movies and shows all the time, but which never fails to freak me out when I see it. He's just an actor! His shoulder is acting! I know, I don't care. The Foley guys go fucking overtime with that shit and I cannot take it. Also: stabbing in the abdomen, slow cutting, things in eyes, anything having to do with piercings or clowns or being stuck under the earth, or people touching other people's feet. In real life or on TV, I cannot handle these things. Maldis gets chatty with him about how John dislocated his shoulder before, when he trashed his motorcycle, blah blah, as the horrible crunching continues, and finally he's like, "You know what would make that shoulder feel great is a giant fight with Bipolar Crais and his chains and huge spears!" John just laughs: "Blood sugar level getting a little low? Need another shot of violence to kick up the old energy level?" Maldis admits that this is the case. "I'm getting tired of appetizers. It's time to dine." John asks if that's meant to be motivational. Not exactly, but...what if only one of them had to die? John gets angry and asks what the other one gets. Back to Moya. "Believe me. I give you my word." Oh, well then.

Liko: "When we reach Maldis, you must not hold back. Strike with all our combined strength. No hesitation. No weakness." "No mercy," says Zhaan. They can both go straight to hell.

Maldis introduces Round 115 and John and Crais face off once again. They can both go to hell too, frankly, if they're not going to do anything. (This recap is really just sliding into an area, isn't it?)

Zhaan and Liko do the shoulder thing and go into trances and start to vibe toward Maldis.

Fighting. John finally just gives up and starts choking the shit out of Crais. Whoa. I never noticed that little parallel before. That's kind of awesome. Although I guess I have to figure out a way to hate John now, seems like. Which is not happening. "I returned him to his ship," chuckles Maldis, and John shouts. "Bring him back! I had him!" Ugly. You think that's cruel? "Yes, you did -- took you long enough, but you finally did what I wanted." Which is to bring him Crais's Command Carrier, by making both John and Crais go crazy(er). Imagine what he could do with that! "Carnage on a truly massive scale!"

Zhaan and Liko: her eyes roll back and turn dark blue, he groans and acts like it's all just too very hard to be magical.

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