That Old Black Magic

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
When We First Took The Pill

Zhaan wakes up and looks at Liko, who's like, "I turned it up to eleven and now I am going to die." Good! She's like, "Let me help," but he goes on about how it's worth it now that Maldis is gone, and then expires after saying how it sucks that they never got to do it. Aww. Thanks for ruining the best character ever. Have fun in hell.

Crais bitches, back on the Carrier, about how (a) he doesn't need to get doctored, (b) there will be no record of this collapse, (c) the doctor's "utter failure to diagnose and treat" the coma will go unreported and unpunished, and (d) go away. Lieutenant Teeg helps Crais up after the doctor leaves. "Has there been any communication with High Command?" (Say yes, say yes, say yes. You're too cute to die.) "No, sir!" She proudly talks about how Hottie Orn wanted to authorization Crais's termination, "But I overruled him." So then, "No one outside of this chamber knows of the Admiral's orders." (Say yes, say yes, say yes. I didn't really think he'd do it.) "I saw to that, sir." Snap goes her neck. "Lieutenant Orn. Status report." Nothing to report. "Widen the search to dekka three. Take us deeper into the Uncharted Territories." And Orn does. Twenty-one episodes, three-act structure. Act I: Meet and Greet the Aliens. Fall in Love A Little Bit. Act II, Episode One: Here Comes Crais. Faaabulous.

Then, two horrible things on Moya, because we of course cannot do without the Downer Tag. D'Argo clarifies with Zhaan that Maldis isn't dead, just "dispersed." That's just great to know. First thing: "Zhaan," Aeryn says stiffly but sweetly as possible, "I feel I must apologize to you for mocking your courage. I see now that you are more of a warrior that I ever thought."

Zhaan nods, and leaves. Quickly. And Aeryn wonders why. D'Argo: "You could not have cut her more deeply." And Aeryn doesn't get it.

John records a message -- to DK this time -- about how he's still processing, how stupid it was that he couldn't just sit Crais down and convince him. "Well, I had my chance. And I'm never going to get another one. And he's going to keep at it, until one of us dies." Zhaan enters, looking shattered. "You look about as cheerful as I do," he grins. "Talk to me. What's up?" Zhaan, haltingly: "Before I became a priest, I was a savage." (Having emotions? Go to emotion guy. What's really effed up is when he and Chiana realize they're that guy for each other. So scary.)

"Yeah, I think I remember you saying that. I don't know that I ever believed it," he says kindly. Who's going to look into that face, at those strong hands, and see the wild thing underneath? "You've never seen that part of me. I thought I'd eradicated it forever." No big, right? You resurrected it -- just a little -- to deal with Maldis. "...so it's over." But it's not. It never was.

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