I remember when people were telling me, "Don't worry, you'll come to love the new theme song." Yeah, no. I loved this, the original theme song. I never thought it needed to be altered in any way. There are those shows that change their theme songs to their detriment, and then there are those shows THAT NEVER FUCKING CHANGE THEIR THEME SONGS. To their detriment.
The rest of the not-bonded-to-a-Leviathan crew gather around to watch the video. They all take turns looking repulsed. Aeryn's magnificent eyes fill with tears. She can barely look at the screen. As soon as Aeryn's face appears helmetless on the screen, she yanks out the data chip and slams it on the table, announcing tremulously, "Yes, it's me I admit it, are you happy now?" Zhaan, D'Argo, and Rygel each light into Aeryn for being on Moya before and helping to assassinate a defenseless Pilot. Aeryn defends herself by saying that she's been on way too many Leviathans to remember being on Moya. "Oh, so all non-Sebaceans look alike -- is that it?" Chiana snits. Okay, one: shut up, Chiana. Two, I'm totally transfixed by the steel grey contour shading on Chi's dinners. Of course, I long-ago noticed how they were doing that to other parts of her face and body, but the dinners thing is extra cool. I wonder what would happen if I went to work looking like that. I bet I'd sell a lot of fresh mozzarella balls.
With lover-like grace, Crichton jumps to Aeryn's defense and reminds them all that the Aeryn on that recording is not the Aeryn they all know and bed. Rygel snorts that he was on Moya three cycles ago (when the events on the vid took place) and maybe Aeryn was one of the ones who tortured him. "Perhaps you tortured me as well," D'Argo chimes in. Although, you can't really use the word "chimes" with D'Argo, can you? It's more like he "tubas" in. Aeryn insists, "NO!" and once again, Crichton attempts to intervene. He places a consoling hand on Aeryn's arm, but she backhands it away with a magnificent thwok. Crichton suggests they go to neutral corners and "chill out for a microt." He adds, "We all have things in our past that we'd rather not have on instant replay." I know I don't need to see my eleven-year-old-self performing "The Barbie Cameo Murders" for the rest of my natural life. Or my sixteen-year-old-self singing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" in my living room. In a strapless and rhinestoned black velvet dress. And sunglasses. At night. Boy, I really need to destroy that tape. "True enough, John," Zhaan says calmly. Oh, riiiight, Zhaanadu's got some ripe old skeletons in her blue closet, doesn't she? Enough to turn your hair white. Or your eyes red. Whatever photosynthesizes your cells. However, Zhaan's not finished being disapproving since she still can't condone the slaughter of such a helpless individual. "Oh, it's perfectly fine to cut off one of his arms then, is it Zhaan?" Aeryn blurts. Duuuude, seriously! Speaking of disturbing, that was an episode that really got to me early in my viewing. I think it even gave me nightmares. And while we're on the subject, shut up, Zhaan. "Peacekeeper murderer," Rygel hisses. Aeryn lunges at him, but he scoots his air Rascal out of her reach. Oh, man, this scene has the potential to be just like when Puppet Cancer Angel went after Spike. Except, I really think that since the human isn't Spike, the muppet won't win. Crichton grabs Aeryn back. "Don't," he tells her, holding her glare, "You're not helping your case." Chiana puts in, "What have you guys been thinking all this time? What, that she was out picking baskets of Rauliss buds while all the other mean Peacekeepers did all the really nasty stuff?" Exactly. She was a Peacekeeper. She killed. She probably killed puppies. That's what Peacekeepers do. With tears threatening to spill over but still with a relatively strong voice, Aeryn agrees that she was a Peacekeeper and when she was a Peacekeeper she had different priorities, values, and relationships. Oooh, "relationships." That means SEX!