The Way We Weren't

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | Grade It Now!
Bloody, Murder-Colored Mem'ries

Velorek's team wonders how far down "it" goes. "I hate waste removal," one PK mutters. I do too. Although, my job's waste removal usually amounts to random rinds, cheese spooge, and nasty, wet papers that people have sucked their cheese samples off of and HANDED THEM BACK TO ME EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A TRASH CAN LIKE RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE! "Keep your opinions to yourselves -- is that clear?!" Velorek demands angrily. It's always so obvious when a subordinate has been embarrassingly dressed down by their superior -- they go right out smack down their own underlings, which is sort of pointless, actually, since those underlings are shaking their heads all, "Whatever, dude, you're just mad because you got in trouble." In the DRD's camcorder we see a Peacekeeper pull off her helmet and say, "Yessir!" with the rest of them and oh SHIT it's Aeryn Sun! I remember being so fucking freaked out by that scene when I first saw it. I wandered around my apartment wringing my hands wailing, "Oh, what does it all MEAN?" until we came back from commercial break. The DRD-cam closes in on Aeryn's impossibly gorgeous eyes and the vid fuzzes out. It fuzzes back to show Crichton sitting in front of a screen watching the video in his room. Chiana stands next to him. She tells Crichton she found it in the top tier. Crichton thinks it's a PK recording device used to spy on their own people. Chiana thinks Crichton's missing the point, namely that Aeryn's been on Moya before, and she Swiss-cheesed a pilot. It's probably too early in the game for me to say, "Shut up, Chiana." That's okay. It'll keep.

I remember when people were telling me, "Don't worry, you'll come to love the new theme song." Yeah, no. I loved this, the original theme song. I never thought it needed to be altered in any way. There are those shows that change their theme songs to their detriment, and then there are those shows THAT NEVER FUCKING CHANGE THEIR THEME SONGS. To their detriment.

The rest of the not-bonded-to-a-Leviathan crew gather around to watch the video. They all take turns looking repulsed. Aeryn's magnificent eyes fill with tears. She can barely look at the screen. As soon as Aeryn's face appears helmetless on the screen, she yanks out the data chip and slams it on the table, announcing tremulously, "Yes, it's me I admit it, are you happy now?" Zhaan, D'Argo, and Rygel each light into Aeryn for being on Moya before and helping to assassinate a defenseless Pilot. Aeryn defends herself by saying that she's been on way too many Leviathans to remember being on Moya. "Oh, so all non-Sebaceans look alike -- is that it?" Chiana snits. Okay, one: shut up, Chiana. Two, I'm totally transfixed by the steel grey contour shading on Chi's dinners. Of course, I long-ago noticed how they were doing that to other parts of her face and body, but the dinners thing is extra cool. I wonder what would happen if I went to work looking like that. I bet I'd sell a lot of fresh mozzarella balls.

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