Scorpius approaches John's quarters and is privy to a show we've only seen like a hundred times; this time it's ugly. "You. On the table. Right now," says Chiana, straddling John and pushing him down. Chiana's like the strongest person this week because everybody's out of it. Her fake horniness will not be denied! She's like your boyfriend on the way out of Brokeback Mountain. Kind of cute, kind of a scary little surprise party in the middle of the evening. (...And that's how beer was invented. Also fraternities.) "Yo, what's gotten into you?!" John tries to resist! But her gay panic is too powerful! "Nothing, yet." She laughs and pushes him down and leans over him. She moves her head around his face, trying to kiss him. "Oh, okay. I just figured out what you need," John laughs, and boy does she get wriggly at that one, "you need a cold shower." Ding, try again. Chiana leans way back, keeping herself strapped in with just her legs. This is all very confusing, as a viewer. Figures she'd be absolutely the sexiest in the one episode you're not allowed to find her sexy. I think there's something in here about how you must be a good father, or else we'll have more strippers.
"It's okay," Chiana groans. John wigs. "I asked Aeryn, she said she didn't care about you anyway." She arcs herself back up, leans over him again. Pop goes the bubble; John's scaffold effectively falls down in a crash at this point. "Yes she does," he insists, grabbing her arms again. And Chiana just giggles. "No she doesn't." John promises himself -- this isn't a conversation, it's a monologue -- that he and Aeryn are happy. "She loves me." Scorpius watches still. "Oh, come on. You know you want it." She leans over towards his cheek; this is so gross. Scorpius calls John's name, and he turns his head to the door. "Oh, hey Scorp." Heh. I love John. Chiana invites Scorpius to "watch," and John protests there's nothing to see, finally summoning the strength to push her off him. "We're done. You're leaving." Chiana slaps his hand away and stands. "Hezmana to you. What'd she do, cut 'em off?" Well, kinda. John gets up and rearranges his vest as Chiana approaches Scorpius at the door, angling herself in on him. He growls, but his head does move towards hers. He hisses, pulls himself back; Chiana leaves to go molest somebody else.
"Whoa," John mumbles. "How 'bout that, kids?" He laughs to Scorpius: "Man, she's in overdrive today!" Scorpius looks at him: "She's not alone." John gets out some homework and spreads it on the table. "How are you feeling?" asks Scorpius, in that strange tone where you know it matters. "Good! Never better," John says. His tone is vague and confused, like his brain isn't working right but he hasn't realized it yet. "We got a little thing going on with the traders, but that's not a problem." Scorpius comes closer and addresses him seriously: "We do have a problem. Your crewmates are behaving very oddly." John points out that this is nothing new; this is his lie. Everything is fine. This is the trait that gets them through every awful plan. So much of the books get settled in this episode, I love it. Scorpius tells him Noranti disagrees with this diagnosis, and John -- against all reason -- discounts Noranti's judgment. "We're fine." (There's a twelve-stepper thing that comes up a lot in discussion of this show, w/r/t Aeryn usually and having to do with the shell stuff, that could really just be the title of this episode: "Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional." Yeah, they're all fucking "fine.") Scorpius points out that a whole host of people are acting weird -- John, Chiana, Aeryn, Rygel, and D'Argo; leaving of course himself and the other creeps on board -- and have been doing so since that girl came to Moya. "You think Talikaa is doing a T'raltixx? A mind-frell? Right, let's go talk to her. Come on, she's in Chiana's quarters." John jumps up and starts for the door; Scorpius is annoyed at this continued bravado, as usual ten steps ahead and seeing how this will play: "No, she isn't. She's disappeared. And we cannot find her."