Farscape
Farscape

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A+ | 669 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Dullas Shittis

Crichton arrives, calling out to D'Argo that they need to talk. What happened to the fearful servant? D'Argo appears in the doorway of the bedchamber, his Qualta blade raised and ready. Crichton pointedly pulls Wynonna from his hip... his hip... his hip, um, holster. Yeah, his hip holster! And places it on the table. He's unarmed. Except for that deadly sexiness. D'Argo lowers his blade. Crichton tragically rasps that they're out of time. Moya's hull is deteriorating and Pilot can't do a thing. "You know what's causing it," Crichton says gently. "John," D'Argo pleads, "[Sexan] isn't evil." Crichton says that changes exactly nothing. D'Argo begs Crichton to understand. "I understand," Crichton says flatly. "What she's doing is killing Moya." "She didn't mean it," D'Argo insists. "Doesn't matter," Crichton repeats. It's murder and Crichton knows it and D'Argo knows it and now my cats know it. D'Argo bellows tearfully that he knows what has to be done, and flings his Qualta blade across the room. It sort of looks like he TKs it, but I'm not entirely certain. Nor do I really care in this wasteland of an episode. While a monkish choir intones on the soundtrack, D'Argo breaks down in silent but manly tears. Bringing over the Qualta blade, Crichton carefully sits down next to D'Argo. He looks at D'Argo, but then looks away again without speaking. D'Argo sneezes. Okay, so I guess it's not a sneeze, it's a wordless spasm of pain and frustration. But it sounds like a sneeze. D'Argo says that he came to Neuschwhinestein to end "this," and end it he will. Please end it soon. Crichton silently offers him the blade. D'Argo takes it.

In her bedchamber, Sexan plays with candles. D'Argo enters and says, "It's time." "D'Argo," Sexan begins, "the gifts you gave me, youth [orgasms], happiness [orgasms], passion [orgasms], I know I can't keep them but I have treasured them." D'Argo has treasured her as well. I will treasure returning this episode to Netflix. Sexan's not afraid any more, she's just not sure she wants to travel her chosen path. She needs D'Argo's strength. I need it too. The ritual begins again. There's lots of ritual things happening. And then there's more. The Qualta blade raises in both their hands and finally, finally, FINALLY stabs Sexan. They yank the blade out, the blood is black. Sexan mutters something ritualistic and a drop of black blood falls and shatters into pretty sparkly things. With a ponderous boom, the Qualta blade falls. And then bounces, because the floor bounces. How odd. Outside, Crichton looks up from his closed-eye vigil. Even in the flickering lamplight, you can see he's been crying. In the chamber, D'Argo kisses a fully aged and fully dead Sexan. Necrophilia! D'Argo turns Sexan's face into his neck and pants sadly.

Farscape

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