"Did you really lose my luggage? Or is this an elaborate bluff?"
"Did you not hear me say 'no mayo'? Or is this just an elaborate bluff?"
"I might be interested in a timeshare at Vail...unless this is an elaborate bluff!"
"Is that a nuclear bomb in your pocket, or are you lying about having wormhole weapons?"
John's like, "For real you don't think I can control wormholes? Because you totally stole my girlfriend and somebody's baby on the off chance, and you've got Scorpius Aurora'd but good on the off chance, and you haven't shot me in the face on the off chance, and the Peacekeepers are running all over your highly guarded secret base being rude to the waiters -- also on the off chance -- so like, for real?" Staleek's like, "Need proof." John and Aeryn, slickly, have just the patter prepared for this. Aeryn slides a data chip across the table to the Emperor, and John says they can meet him halfway. "Navigational data chip," Aeryn explains. "Local star chart. Send a ship to the designated coordinates, and let us know when they arrive." Ahkna asks, "Why?" and Aeryn tells her. "Proof." John starts to go wild again: "Command performance: we're gonna put on the wormhole show, just for you." Neither of them touches the chip, so John grabs it back again and offers to show it to somebody more interested. Like Grayza. Because Staleek is like a really, really tall fifth-grader, he is cowed by this maneuver, and takes the chip. He and Ahkna bounce, leaving John and Aeryn standing in the war room. Aeryn is wearing the biggest smile you've ever seen.
Emperor Staleek immediately dispatches a Stryker to the coordinates, via Captain Jenek, and asks if they've done any checking up on "Crichton's ship," Lo'La. I love how Jenek is like the go-to guy for everything, but I'm sure it's a flag officer kind of situation where Jenek's literally the ranking guy currently on Katratzi, so he kind of is. Jenek admits that Lo'La's force field is still impenetrable, but they're trying to override it. Staleek, ever hopeful, tells him to totally override it, and then check its logs and star charts and whatever else. Ahkna, predictably: "This is folly! Crichton plainly knows nothing about wormholes!" Staleek's like, "For once could you turn that gimlet eye back on your own giant stovepipe hat? You've been torturing Scorpius this whole time and anybody who's ever seen this show knows that wormholes are like the one thing he doesn't have under control. For somebody who hates maybes and thinks every yes is a maybe, you sure do love beating up that old perv." Ahkna's like, "I question even his zero knowledge about wormholes! Such are my powers of doubting!" She then runs off to torture him some more.













Comments