We're So Screwed (2): Hot To Katratzi

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
"When You Wake Up In The Morning, What Do You Hear?"

John, Scorpius, and Aeryn come down a corridor, with Lo'La actually in their sights. Scorpius gasps that even shrouded, she can't outrun a Stryker, and Aeryn tells him that they don't have to go far: Moya's disguised as an oil freighter in the shipping yards, and ready to starburst. Two Charrids appear and John is like, "Aeryn, could you...?" She hands Scorpius off to John and pulls her pistol. Scorpius babbles another negative, this time about how they can make a bargain, and John asks his where his nerve's gone. "Grasshopper, just stick with me. They ain't gonna pop Fat Man." Aeryn gestures for them to be quiet and looks out into the hangar; Scorpius suddenly drops to the floor, gurgling. John kneels at his side and tells him not to pass out. Scorpius lies perfectly still. Aeryn kneels too, and cocks her pistol at his head. "Get up, or I kill you now."

Commercial. Something's changed. You never end two acts on the same beat. Something's changed. She has her gun to his head and she's telling him to choose. He's doing everything he can to slow them down, and has been all along. The last thing he wants is off Katratzi, but we don't know that and we don't know why. Or if it's evil. (It's kinda evil, but not in a John-centric way like you might think. It's not terribly loving or gentle, and it doesn't really seem to take into account that the Cold War arguably what's keeping everybody alive in the whole U.T., which is okay in theory but shitty in practice.) "You need to know when a woman's serious," John advises, and grabs gagging Scorpius, helping him to his feet. Scorpius is now draped over John's shoulders, as he always was. "Okay," says Aeryn, shooting the ceiling above the Charrid soldiers and telling them to drop their guns. She shoots the ceiling again and rushes them, warning that they can't shoot without blowing up John's knob. John hurries in with Scorpius; Aeryn keeps her gun trained on them. They put their stuff down. "Well, there you go," says John. "Someone finally got smart." Oh, John. That's serious asking for it.

Scorpius starts to gag and bends over, and John shifts his hold on his arm: Scorpius straightens and hits Aeryn in the face, knocking her down, then brings the arm around and gives John a gut shot, dropping him as well. The Charrids quickly pick up their rifles from the floor and Scorpius kneels on John's back. Like he always has. John hyperventilates beneath him: "You stupid son of a bitch!" Scorpius apologizes and tells him to breathe deeply: the Fat Man is going wild with Scorpius on top like this. John struggles, but Scorpius pins his hands: "Now, if you trust me enough to live, you may well discover the truth." At the word, at the concept of trusting Scorpius, John goes wild, screaming into the floor; the bomb sends up an alarm. And John goes on screaming, with everything in the air that matters and a great big "To Be Continued" across his smushed face. That darn Scorpius!

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