Won't Get Fooled Again

Episode Report Card
Strega: B | 1 USERS: A+
Virtual Insanity

The Space Shuttle Collaroy lifts off from Canaveral. Again. No offense to the Aussies, but "Collaroy" is an awful name for a shuttle. This shot always makes me think of Odyssey magazine. Which, Google tells me, has changed a tad over the past couple of decades. Anyway, so the shuttle takes off. Whoosh.

Cut to the Farscape dropping out of the shuttle's cargo bay. "Go for insertion," fwoom, cue the electromagnetic wave, "Abort," flash. Et cetera.

Close-up on Crichton's upside-down eyeball. We pull back and spin to see that he's lying on an exam table with EEG monitors pasted to him. Pa Crichton is there, finishing up a phone call. When Crichton starts to peel the electrodes off his face, Pa calls for a nurse and asks Crichton how he feels. Crichton sweatily says, "Hot. Dizzy. Kind of feel like I've been hit by a house." Pa offers some soothing words, and leans down for a hug. Crichton promptly swings Pa over the table to the floor. I do admire Pa for having the presence of mind to shout, "What are you doing?" even as he's getting flipped. Then he just says, "Aaa!" Crichton continues to attack, shouting, "I'm not your son!" Some orderlies hurry in and haul Crichton back onto the table, and we see someone pull out a very large needle. We pan up to see that the doctor is, in fact, Aeryn. Sort of. She's wearing a white coat, there's a stethoscope draped around her neck, and her hair is wavy. She calmly tells the orderly, "We'll need full restraints, and can you get me a clean IV, please?" Crichton moans, "This is not real..."

Credits. Shameless plug: You Are Dumb. Not you, of course.

We return to Crichton, now strapped down to the table. He wheedles, "Aeryn, honey? Could you get me out of these straps?" He says that the last thing he remembers was visiting a commerce planet. Aeryn throatily introduces herself as Doctor Bettina Fairchild. I'm going to stick to calling her Aeryn, because there's more than enough to be confused about here. Let's all wish Keckler luck dealing with "Out of Their Minds," shall we? Aeryn checks Crichton's pupils and reports that he doesn't have any brain damage, although he does have a fever. Crichton stage-whispers, "Are they listening to us? Is that why you can't talk?" She sighs, "Violent, and now paranoid. Perhaps another CAT scan would be indicated." He apologetically says he "fuzzed out" for a minute, and asks what day it is. Aeryn says that it's Monday, a week after his crash-landing of the Farscape. Crichton says that he doesn't remember the crash, but he had a nightmare about being on a ship full of aliens. She asks if that's why he attacked Pa. He explains, "He looked like he was human, but he had alien goo on the inside. It was pretty freaky, huh?" Aeryn has no comment. Crichton repeats that he's fine now, and asks her to undo the straps. She asks why he called her Aeryn. Crichton explains, "Old girlfriend. You look a lot like her. Except you have prettier hair." Smooth. He follows that up by saying he wants to apologize to Pa for that whole assault thing. Aeryn says that Pa has retreated to the lounge, and waves an orderly over to undo the straps.

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