Fastlane
Mighty Blue

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Mighty Blue

Van and Deaq show up at the arcade to meet Alexa. Deaq points out a chick and says, "Now that's bananas, with a capital 'nanas." I don't know. Van claims that "she's not like the Bombay or anything." Of course, the chick in question is Alexa. Deaq gives her an appraising look, and Alexa thinks that Deaq must be Van, the one Billie warned her about. They get the identity thing straightened out. Alexa looks Deaq up and down and accuses Billie of "always hiding the chocolate." Van tries to bring things back to the business end of things. Alexa says that she has it all set up, and she told Jackson that Van and Deaq are gay lovers, so they just need to hold hands and kiss now and then. Van and Deaq squirm a bit, because that would be gross, and Alexa admits that she's kidding. She says that Jackson doesn't care how she met the boys, as long as they have money. She advises them to flaunt their toys and remember that Jackson is immature, so he's not impressed by sophistication and culture.

Cut to Van and Deaq facing off in a game of Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade. I don't know what Van is doing, but it's cracking me up. Alexa and Jackson watch, and Jackson makes a comment about how Van and Deaq are playing a kids' game. But I thought Alexa told them to act immaturely? So why is Jackson acting all offended? Alexa introduces Van and Deaq to Jackson. Van says that they just finished playing eight straight hours of Grand Theft Auto. Jackson says that he rules Vice City, so I guess they all love each other now. It reminds me of the day that Glark met J-Dawg.

The foursome sits down. Jackson orders drinks for all of them, but Alexa interrupts to say that she wants a chocolate martini, and gives Deaq a look to make sure he caught the implications of that. Jackson is impressed that Van has a black American Express card. Alexa doesn't know that very few people have them, and Jackson knocks her on the head and calls her a "dumb bitch" as well as a "prime piece." Deaq protests, but Jackson says that "the dumb ones do what they're told, and they're too stupid to fix you." Van hands a backpack to Jackson, and Deaq explains that it's a down payment for the drugs. Jackson is surprised, and Van says that "the dumb bitch" vouched for him. Jackson asks who they are, and Deaq responds, "The real deal." Am I the only one who just started singing, "The real deal with Bill McNeal!" Ah, Phil Hartman. We miss you.

Van and Deaq play basketball at the Candy Store while Alexa and Billie sit in Billie's office and catch up. Alexa says that Jackson wants to do business with the boys, and as soon as they find out the location of the transaction, they'll let Billie know so she can set up a sting. Billie and Alexa have this annoying habit of saying, "Boo-ya?" instead of "Okay?" I tried to ignore it before, but it appears that it's going to be a recurring theme so I had to mention it. Billie asks Alexa if she's feeling good about this case. Alexa says she can't wait to get Jackson out of her life, because while she has dealt with "the lowest of the low," Jackson is something else entirely. She's even been having a recurring dream where Jackson finds out she's a cop and comes to her house to torture and kill her. Billie wants Alexa to come and stay with her until the case is over. Alexa refuses. Billie changes the subject to ask how the boys are treating Alexa, and gets suspicious when Alexa talks about how great Deaq is. Alexa insists that she's just window-shopping, because being a divorcee makes her feel pathetic. Billie points out everything Alexa has going for her, including spunk. Alexa can't believe Billie said that she has spunk. Billie replies, "What's wrong with spunk? Men need spunk. Men like spunk." That line cracked me up because I'm four. Alexa asks Billie if she's ever "taken Deaq for a couple laps." Billie laughs and tells Alexa to get out. Alexa walks out.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

Fastlane

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP