Fastlane
Mighty Blue

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Mighty Blue

Billie thinks for a moment and tells Van to come into her office. He protests that he didn't do anything. Billie calls Van a "beaten dog," and says she loves it. Van sits down and asks if Deaq has said anything about Alexa. Van says that her name has come up since they're all working on a case together. Billie asks if Deaq has mentioned wanting to "knock it with her." Van laughs again at Billie's attempt at slang, and then claims that Deaq hasn't mentioned anything to him, and that Deaq's a pro who wouldn't mix business with pleasure. Van's face is very pink as he says this, and Billie realizes that he's lying, and wonders how he hasn't gotten killed by now since he's such a bad liar. Billie says that she would expect such behavior from Van, but not Deaq. Van suggests that Billie tell Alexa to back off. Billie says she doesn't tell her friends what to do, but Deaq is her employee. Van leaves to play some more basketball.

Van and Deaq walk into a club, discussing Van's conversation with Billie. Deaq can't believe that Billie's trying to tell him what to do, and wants Van to tell Billie to step off. Van asks if he's wearing a neon bike helmet and spandex pants, because he's not a messenger. He's not, but that reminds me that Facinelli hasn't taken his shirt off yet, and what's up with that? The boys reach a bouncer and give their names, explaining that they are friends of Jackson's. The bouncer checks a list and tells them that the cover is $5,000 per person. What the? For that kind of money, there had better be...I can't even imagine what could be in that place that would be worth that kind of money. Deaq protests the price, and the bouncer assures him that it's "mad worth it."

The boys walk into the club as a song on the soundtrack goes, "I know you've got a great big hammer." I'm still not sure why this club is supposed to be worth so much money. Probably they are trying to imply activities that they can't show on network television, but so far I've seen semi-naked women making out and casual drug use, which I think you can get at pretty much any bar. There is one weird area where women poke their hands through holes in the wall and grope some guy. And a woman is painting a tattoo on another woman. Alexa welcomes them to the club, which is called The Phoenix Nest, and she explains that it's Jackson's "den of depravity." Van leaves to say hello to Jackson. Deaq tells Alexa that the club is just like his apartment. Van says hello to Jackson, who calls Van "Blackheart" for no apparent reason. Van says that the club is nasty in a good way. Jackson offers Van some drugs. Van says no, but Jackson snorts something and then tells some random woman that the drug is called "Hitler's drug" because he gave it to his troops. Jackson says that he considers Hitler a role model. I get that they want us to hate this guy, but couldn't they come up with something a little less obvious than Hitler worship? The random woman leaves, and Van and Jackson discuss the details of their business transaction. Jackson gives Van the place, and Van thinks it's a bit far away. Jackson says it's in case he decides to kill Van and Deaq -- they'll be far from civilization. Van laughs, and so does Jackson, but then he gets all serious and says, "You think I'm kidding?" Van asks, "Are you?" Jackson asks, "Am I?" Van's all, "I don't know. Are you?" And Jackson's all, "I don't know. Am I?" And Van's all, "No, but seriously, are you?" And Jackson's all, "I'm asking. Am I?" Okay, I might have exaggerated a little there, but that dialogue was so bad that I had to embellish.

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Fastlane

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