Fastlane
Mighty Blue

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Mighty Blue

Billie talks to Alexa on the phone. Alexa says, not unkindly, that she knows Billie is just trying to help, but Alexa can take care of herself. Alexa protests that she's able to think straight in Deaq's presence. We see a shot of Alexa talking on the phone, and discover that Deaq is sitting right there. Alexa talks to Billie about Deaq's pecs and abs, and Billie gets off the phone quickly. Alexa and Deaq totally do it.

The next day, Van talks to Billie about her face when she saw Deaq and Alexa on her desk. Billie is glad that Van can laugh at the idea of the Candy Store becoming "a shtup den." The problem with giving Tiffani "Don't Call Me Amber" Thiessen these lines is that she can't deliver them convincingly. Bellamy and Facinelli can, but Tiffani pauses over them and emphasizes the wrong words and it just doesn't work. Van says he's just waiting for his partner to get there so that they can go bust Jackson. Van asks why Billie is so bothered by the whole thing with Deaq and Alexa. Billie says the whole thing is like bad porn. Van thinks that Deaq wouldn't be crossing Billie like this if it were just about sex, and points out that Deaq and Alexa are both alone in the city, so maybe they could make it work. Billie says she doesn't buy it. Billie adds that she doesn't have a lot of friends, and Alexa is probably her one true friend and they are so close that we've never heard about said friend until this week when it became convenient to the plot. Billie likes Deaq, but she's still not okay with this. Deaq busts in. Billie asks where he was last night. Deaq says he was home. Billie says she called him, so she knows he wasn't. Billie starts to yell at Deaq some more, but Deaq offers to go back to New York once the case is over. Deaq adds that Billie needs to get a life. Billie is silent. Van is silent. Deaq and Van take off to make the bust.

Then there is a quick montage of the pre-credits sequence. This time we get to see that Billie whispered to Deaq, "I may not have a life, but I've got a mean right hook." That was it? I totally thought it was going to be something like, "Don't worry about Alexa -- this is all a setup." What a disappointment.

Van and Deaq are alone in the desert, still cuffed. After ascertaining that the two prison guards are dead, and that the radio doesn't work, they decide to flag down a car. Van gets the key from one of the dead guards and unlocks both of their cuffs. As they start to leave, two yokels show up with guns. This whole scene is so stupid and the yokels are such caricatures that it's not even worth discussing. All you need to know is that Van and Deaq knock out the yokels and take their guns. They use those guns to flag down and carjack a passing motorist. As they get into the car, Deaq actually yells out, "Hang on, Alexa baby. We coming!" I laughed and laughed at that one. Deaq finds out that the car phone isn't getting a signal and bemoans that Alexa broke cover. Van says that Deaq would have done the same in that situation. Deaq yells out that Jackson is going to kill Alexa, like we get it for the fifteenth time!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

Fastlane

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP