Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!

Van lies on the pavement at the racetrack as Tiffani voice-overs some blather about looking for someone to go after the generals instead of the foot soldiers. Van sits up and calls her, and we cut to the two of them walking down a darkened alley. Van claims not to know what she's talking about. Well, that makes two of us. Tiffani walks funny. She claims to have "the ultimate backstage pass," and she uses a remote control to open a garage door. Inside are tons of fancy motorcycles and cars, among other types of loot. Tiffani tells Van that this is "the candy store," and that all of the merchandise has been recovered from criminals. Her people use the stuff to go deep undercover. She offers Van "a life of crime, 24/7," and tells him that he can't ever drop cover or flash a badge. Van looks around, and then tosses Tiffani his badge. They head into some sort of terrarium in the center of the room. It's like a greenhouse or something, with computers inside. I guess it's her office, although I can see no reason why it looks like that except to make filming easier. And to look cool. Tiffani uses her computer to create a new ID for Van as she instructs him to get back in touch with Sassy Blonde.

Van rolls up to a mansion in a flashy red car. On his way in, he bumps into Fred Durst. What the fuck? Later, he walks into a club and finds Sassy Blonde. She asks if he brought cops again, and he claims that he didn't bring them last time, and reminds her that they never closed their deal. She flashes her cooter at him (no, really) and tells him that he wrecked the car, so it's his problem. Van says that the car was for a buyer in Tokyo, and he's still interested. Sassy Blonde tells Van that there's a warrant out for his arrest. They banter some more, and Sassy Blonde wonders why Van is so chipper when his buddy just got killed. Van says that his partner was actually his porter, and goes on to further sully his partner's name. Of course, Deaqon is sitting nearby, listening to the whole thing. Action Cliché #7 is that the person looking for information always manages to be sitting in the right spot at the right time in order to overhear the crucial information. Sassy Blonde says that she needs $500,000 cash for any future business, and that he doesn't get a couple of days to come up with the money, because only cops need that kind of time. She starts to walk away, and Van asks if he's going to frisk him. She walks back and grabs his package. They both laugh, and she leaves again. A waitress walks over and hands Van an envelope. He opens it and finds a hotel-room key card and a lipstick print in place of a signature.

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