Fastlane
Ryde Or Die

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Ryde Or Die

People wait to get into a club. A truck (is it a Humvee? It's weird-looking) pulls up to the curb, and two guys get out. There are a lot of stutter cuts in this scene, which are very distracting. The two guys walk up to the bouncer, who is the littlest bouncer ever. The two guys claim to be on the list, but the bouncer isn't buying it. When told to check the list again, the bouncer leans closer and, in the worst Cockney accent ever, asks what he smells, sniffs, and then says, "Desperation?" One of the guys clocks the bouncer in the head and the two guys walk into the club. And yet no one in line makes a move to get in, and there are no other employees of the club nearby to help the bouncer out.

The two guys walk inside and look through the club. Cut to Deaq and Van sitting in a booth with Aquarius, who apparently owns the club. Deaq tells Aquarius that the ladies in the club are "off the hizzee." Aquarius goes on a riff about how fine the women are in his club. Van toasts Aquarius and his club. A guy who looks like a cross between Dennis Quaid and Jeremy Irons walks up and says that he has a bone to pick with Aquarius, and then announces that he's been partied into the ground. They all laugh, and Aquarius introduces the guy to Van and Deaq as Gavin West. Aquarius apologizes that their "thing" couldn't work out, and Gavin says that it's not a problem. Gavin says that the club will be around for a long time to come, and leaves. Aquarius calls Gavin a "punk-ass busta" once he's gone.

Cut to the Candy Store, six hours earlier. Billie quizzes Van and Deaq on their case. They're after Gavin West because he manufactures Ecstasy. Van gets frustrated with the question-and-answer period, and stands up for some exposition. He says that Gavin moves his drugs through all the hot clubs in L.A., he's been arrested seventeen times but never gone to jail, and they still don't know where Gavin's manufacturing lab is. Billie sharply orders Van to sit down, which he does with a sigh. Billie wants Deaq to use his connection with Aquarius. She thinks that Gavin must have approached Aquarius about selling drugs in his club, and she wants Van and Deaq to position themselves as middlemen. Deaq protests that Aquarius is like family, and that he likes to keep his family out of his business as much as possible. Except when it's his ex-girlfriend. Actually, I saw that this episode is airing out of order, and was originally supposed to air before the ex-girlfriend one, so maybe that was foreshadowing or something. Billie says she just doesn't care about Deaq's problems.

Back at the club, Aquarius tells the boys the score, and that he's not a drug pusher. Deaq says that Gavin takes refection pretty well as they watch Gavin walk out. Gavin walks up to the two guys who clocked the bouncer and orders, "Do him." Maybe he should have been more specific there, because I just got a scary mental image. Suddenly, there are three guys (who I'm just going to call Gavin's Boys), so maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention earlier. I was distracted by the bad Cockney accent. Two of them reach into their coats for their guns. Aquarius tells Van and Deaq that no one should mess with him. Van notices a laser sight on his hand, and looks to find the source. He sees one of Gavin's Boys pointing a gun right at Aquarius's head. The camera goes down the barrel of the gun and then follows the bullet across the room. Which would be super-cool if I hadn't seen it, like, two years ago in that Korn video. I mean, it's still cool, but it's hardly original. Van pushes Aquarius down, and the bullet hits some bottles on the ledge behind them. The club patrons start freaking out and stampeding out the door, which helps to keep them from getting any closer to Van, Deaq, and Aquarius, who are scurrying off behind the bar. The song in the background states, "The revolution will be televised," which seems kind of played-out as far as themes go. Deaq tells Van that there are three shooters. Van pops up over the bar. One of Gavin's boys shoots and takes out some random dude. Van and Deaqon jump out from behind the bar. There's all kinds of shooting in both slow and regular motion. I'm no puritan, but I can't believe how much violence there is this week. Not to mention the John Woo-style gun-fetish crap featured when Deaq hopped out with two huge guns with extremely long barrels. Van manages to shoot one of Gavin's Boys. Outside, patrons run down the street, and then Gavin walks by with a smile on his face. And...credits. The show's theme song is really terrible. Like almost as bad as the theme song from the last season of Road Rules.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next

Fastlane

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP