Fastlane
Things Done Changed

Episode Report Card
Kim: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Things Done Changed

After a quick recap of the show's premise (which this week included the "That party was off the hook" clip that I love), Van and Deaq pull up to a strip club with some other dudes we do not yet know. One dude says that strip clubs are for suckers because it's "just a bunch of tricks shaking they [sic] ass just trying to take your cheddar." Yes, I've seen how those strippers practically have to force men to give them money. Van says that he steals and the strippers lie, but that they're all just trying to make a living. The dude thinks the strippers are the thieves. Van says that the dude has issues with women and might be better off at home, watching Oz. Wouldn't it have been funnier if he said Queer as Folk? The dude pulls a gun and asks if Van is calling him a homosexual. Van calmly says that he's calling the dude a jerk-off, and tells him to put the gun away. Another dude asks Deaq if he's ready, and Deaq tells him just to say the word. They all put on clear plastic masks that don't seem to do much to conceal anyone's identity, and step out of the car.

A rap song that samples "The Stroke" by Billy Squier plays as the crew walks across the street in slow motion. Inside, strippers do their thing. The boys enter. Van shoots the ceiling and orders everyone to get down. And he doesn't mean that means that they should shake their booties. At least, I don't think that's what he meant. The patrons scream and drop to the floor. Van walks over to one blonde stripper who is still standing, and orders her to the floor; she complies. Deaq asks the manager where the safe is. He claims that there isn't one. Deaq shoots out two mirrors, and the manager suddenly decides that there is, in fact, a safe in the back room. Some dude calls out either that they have sixty seconds left, or that they've been in there sixty seconds. Van walks around and collects the patrons' wallets. While walking through the dressing room -- which has all red lighting, for some reason -- Deaq orders the strippers in there to get down on the ground. The manager opens a door in the back and claims that he can't remember the combination. Deaq threatens to shoot off one of his fingers. The manager yells at Deaq to give him a second. Should you really be yelling at the guy with the gun? Deaq cocks his gun and says that the manager needs to open the safe. The manager notices a gun concealed below a shelf nearby. The group leader walks in and tells Deaq that they only have thirty-six seconds left. This jogs the manager's memory, and he says that the combination is thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six. He opens the safe, and Deaq grabs the cash and stuffs it in a bag. In the main room, Van grabs some more wallets. Deaq and the leader walk out of the back room with the bag full of money. The manager grabs the concealed gun and runs out of the room. Why be a hero? Don't they have insurance? Just let them go. The manager shoots at Deaq and Van, and misses. They turn and, at the same time, shoot the manager in the chest. For like two seconds, I was shocked, but then I figured it out. I'll let you think about it until the next paragraph.

When we return, the dude from earlier tells Deaq that he didn't have to shoot anyone. Deaq counters that no one told the manager to play the hero. Van adds that they just did what they had to do. A shoving match ensues until Deaq says that they've showed what they can do, and asks if they're in or out. Van adds that there's no one better than him and Deaq. The leader calls Van and Deaq "real live monsters," and says that they have a meeting at the garage at 3 PM the next day.

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Fastlane

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