Fastlane
Fastlane

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 595 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
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Van sits in a chair in a room with acid-green walls. An off-screen voice announces that there is a new member of the group tonight. Van stands up and says, "Hi. My name is Van and I'm an alcoholic." The camera pulls back to reveal that he's sitting in a circle of about twenty others, who all respond, "Hello, Van."

Two weeks earlier. Billie tells the boys that on the night in question, Wisdom Bailey had a party. We see footage of said party, which apparently has a Black Light and Freaky Mask theme. A woman walks into the party and is met at the door by two guys waving metal-detector wands. Billie says that Wisdom is "a freak for security." Well then, you'd think he'd have stepped that security up a bit after Van and Deaq broke into his estate a few weeks back. A bunch of women writhe about at the party. It's kind of like a cross between Mardi Gras and Eyes Wide Shut. Wisdom himself walks into the room, wearing a Phantom of the Opera half-mask. Billie voice-overs that Wisdom is the owner of Wis Records, as well as a "convicted gang-banger, thug, and murderer." I didn't realize thuggery was a crime these days. What exactly is a thug anyway? Oh, and Wisdom is also giving super-secret testimony to the D.A.'s office on "a recent spate of gang-related crimes." Billie explains that, as a result, Wisdom is feeling a little paranoid, and has upped his security.

Billie continues the story, saying that "according to surviving witnesses," the girl in question was dressed in costume like the other partygoers. We see a woman (dressed in her bra/panty/garter belt combo that can't be comfortable) entering and being waved by the security wands. You'd think the metal studs on her leather mask would set off the alarms. Wisdom kisses the woman's hand. Billie explains that the woman spent most of the night in the corner talking to Wisdom. A bodyguard said that the woman seemed normal, and was just looking to hook up. Cut to the Candy Store, where Billie tells the boys, "Three minutes later, after the bodyguard said that to the EMT, he died." Well, that's a confusing antecedent. Did the bodyguard die, or the EMT? I'm guessing the bodyguard, but that could have been a bit clearer. Back at the party, Wisdom and Leather Mask Lady are kissing in a booth. She gets up and walks away. The bodyguard stops her; she grabs both of his guns and starts shooting up the joint. She takes out three bodyguards right away. You'd think if Wisdom were really that paranoid, both he and his bodyguards would be wearing bulletproof vests. Leather Mask Lady turns towards Wisdom, who reaches into his jacket and fumbles for a gun. Another bodyguard knocks the woman's shooting hand down, and she turns and shoots the bodyguard in the chest. Wisdom overturns a table for no apparent reason and runs off. Was the table supposed to be a distraction, or was it just cover from the bullets? Wisdom grabs a female partygoer and uses her as a shield while he makes his way to the door. Leather Mask Lady doesn't shoot at them, but she does take out a couple more bodyguards.

Fastlane

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