MONDO EXTRAS

"Fat April"?

by The Editors July 31, 2007 11:40 AM

When it comes to reality shows, ABC has a long and storied history of creating premises that offend potential viewers' sensibilities. A few years ago, Extreme Makeover started by parading in front of America such poor, benighted creatures as (we were to feel) should scarcely dare to show their hideous faces in daylight; then, to add insult to injury, the show also grossed out the few viewers who would tune in by assaulting them with painfully graphic footage of cosmetic surgery. Then, in 2005, the network announced Welcome To The Neighborhood, in which several contestant families -- Latino, Asian, African-American, Wiccan, and headed by two gay men (to name but a few) -- had to impress three Caucasian Republican couples enough to win a house in their judges' neighborhood. This premise met with such widespread horror that the network pulled the series weeks before it was to have started airing.

But has ABC learned any lessons from its past dalliances with offensive reality shows? Goodness, no, as 2007 finds the network trying to piggyback on the success of such inspiring weight-loss shows as Celebrity Fit Club and The Biggest Loser with its own take. And not that there's anything necessarily wrong with rounding up several willing volunteers and having them walk from Boston to Washington, DC -- but maybe a line was crossed with the decision to call the show Fat March. FAT MARCH, people. However, as appalled as you may be by this series, it actually could be worse: TWoP has acquired a classified ABC memo proposing titles that, if Fat March is a hit, could be considered as possible new offerings in the franchise.

Fat Skateboard

Fat Hippety-Hop

Fat Heelies

Fat Home Run Derby

Fat Swing Dance

Fat Bungee-Jump

Fat Surf

Fat Parkour

Fat Rhythmic Gymnastics

Fat Ironman

Fat Unicycle

Fat Hang Gliding