Previously on Felicity: Ben told Lauren that she needed to involve him in decisions about their baby. Felicity admitted to Ben that she copied someone else's dissertation because she was "so freaked out about everything that's going on" that she couldn't concentrate. Ben assured her that they would get through this, but Felicity wasn't so sure.
Javier and Felicity are working at Dean & Deluca. Javier warns Felicity that her "archest enemy" just walked through the door, and Felicity protests that she doesn't have an arch enemy. Lauren walks up to the counter and...whoa! What in the hell is going on with her hair? She's got it up in two Afro Puffs, a look that she is way too old to pull off, and it looks like ass anyway. Plus, she's looking all haggard and shit. Lauren asks if Ben is there, and Felicity informs her that Ben doesn't work today. Lauren starts to leave, and Felicity asks if everything is okay. Lauren says that she's leaving early and needed to talk to him. Felicity offers to pass on a message. Doesn't Ben have a phone? With an answering machine? Why is Felicity his messenger all of a sudden? Oh, that's right. Because they need to set up this Felicity/Lauren interaction so that they can "establish" Lauren's "depression" that will cause her to get drunk later on. Hope I didn't ruin anything for you there. Lauren says that her plans have changed and she's leaving tomorrow. Felicity, shocked, asks, "For Arizona?" No, for the moon. Every week, the characters have been asking dumb questions designed to fill the viewers in on backstory, and it's bugging me. Lauren explains that Ben offered to help her pack up her car, and she's wondering if he's still planning on doing that. Throughout, Felicity is very polite and Lauren is dismissive and bitchy. Felicity promises to tell him. Lauren adds, "Yeah, because at this point, I'm doing everything by myself." By choice. She chose to have this baby, and she chose to do it herself, and Ben offered to help her, and it's not his fault that she decided to leave early. He only has, you know, school and stuff. Felicity tells Lauren that it must be hard, and she's sorry. Man, Felicity is way nicer than me. I would have told Lauren to stuff a sock in it. Okay, I'm way too passive aggressive for that, but I definitely wouldn't have sympathized with her plight. Lauren tells Felicity not to pretend like she cares. Felicity claims that she does care. Lauren rolls her eyes and turns away, asking Felicity to tell Ben to call her. Felicity stops Lauren and asks if there is a problem. Lauren says that Felicity and Ben are "incredibly selfish people." Wait, I think I have to type that again, because I don't believe it. Lauren just called Felicity, who has been very sweet to her in a very difficult situation, "incredibly selfish." Felicity asks if Lauren wants her and Ben to drop everything and move to Arizona. Lauren just reminds Felicity to have Ben call her and leaves.
Felicity turns around, open-mouthed. She asks Javier if he heard that. Javier, who was clearly eavesdropping the whole time, says that he "got a little bit." Felicity can't believe that Lauren thinks that they are selfish, after everything that she has done. Felicity concludes, "I don't care if she is pregnant. I don't like her. I really don't." Why does she have to like her just because she's pregnant? Only nice people get pregnant? People automatically turn nice when they get pregnant? Javier says that he doesn't like Lauren either, and he hopes she gets a stretch mark from head to toe. Felicity just stands there, stunned at what Lauren just said.