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Kim: A | Grade It Now!

Felicity starts the episode wearing one of her trademark first-season huge sweaters and pacing in her dorm room while making a tape for Sally. Felicity tells Sally that "there was kissing between [her] and Noel," but that neither of them knew what it meant. A jazzy version of "Jingle Bells" plays in the background. Cut to Felicity and Knoll sitting and staring at one another on Knoll's bed. Knoll asks, "Okay, so what does this mean, exactly?" Felicity isn't sure. Cut back to Felicity telling Sally that it was after Thanksgiving, that Hannah was gone, and that it was the moment in a relationship where you want to define what things are. How would Felicity know -- she's never been in a relationship, has she? Oh, Felicity explains that Knoll told her that they should understand the parameters. Good Lord, it's a relationship, not a bill to be brought before Congress.

Cut back to Felicity and Knoll in the dorm room. Knoll's phone rings. Felicity urges him to answer it, but Knoll is worried that it might be Hannah, and he wants to talk to Felicity right now, not Hannah. The answering machine picks up, and Knoll's outgoing message is, "Hi, it's Knoll. I'm sitting next to my phone right now, screening this call." Knoll comments that he needs to change the message. Knoll's mother starts to leave a message, so Knoll picks up the phone immediately. His mother is obviously upset, and Knoll struggles to understand what she's talking about -- something about "Uncle Kenny" and "turnpike" and "chicken truck." Felicity makes to leave, but Knoll urges her to stay. Knoll comments to Felicity that his uncle isn't supposed to be driving because he's "a necrophiliac." Felicity, grossed out, asks, "He sleeps with dead people?" Knoll corrects himself, "No, I mean, uh...narcolepsy." ["I always used to get those two words mixed up." -- Wing Chun] Knoll's mother comes back on the phone and tells Knoll that his uncle is in a coma. Cut back to Felicity telling Sally that "this horrible thing happened to Noel's grandmother's brother," which would make him Knoll's Great-Uncle Kenny, but I'm a stickler for terminology like that. I guess Knoll, who gets "necrophiliac" confused with "narcoleptic" wouldn't really care. That reminds me of the time that I was miniature golfing with my mom and my brother. My brother excitedly exclaimed, "Mom, that guy is a transvestite!" My mom glanced over and saw a guy dressed in typical guy clothing, so she asked, "How can you tell?" My brother responded, "He just did a right-handed putt, and then he turned around and did a left-handed putt!" My mom laughed and said that the word he was looking for was "ambidextrous." My brother said, totally deadpan, "I thought that was, like, a frog." True story. Of course, my brother was about eleven years old at the time. Felicity explains to Sally that Knoll's dad works in a mill and couldn't get time off to go to the hospital in Florida, so Knoll had to go.

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