Noel stands outside his dorm room, circling items in the classified ads. The elevator arrives, so he walks towards it, but bumps into Elena on the way -- literally bumps into, as in knocking shoulders. Noel absentmindedly starts to apologize, but Elena yells, "Don't touch me, you guy scum!" Noel looks back, startled, and then realizes who it is, and asks Elena if she has to denigrate him every time she sees him. Elena says she does. I'm right there with her. She asks if Noel wants to know why. Noel says, "No, I know why, because Felicity's your girl." He didn't make air quotes around "your girl," but they were implied. Elena tells Noel that he's right, and that she doesn't want to hear that Felicity and Noel both did something wrong, because Noel started it. Noel protests that not every guy is a jerk, and Elena says she didn't say that; she said that Noel is a jerk. Noel says that Elena might as well get her last shots in now because he's moving. Elena is surprised, and Noel adds that he's going "anyplace that accepts guy scum." I tried on and discarded a number of suggested locations here, but none of them worked, so just insert your own most hated place, or maybe where an ex-boyfriend or deadbeat dad lives. It's like Choose Your Own Adventure. Noel walks off, and Elena heaves a big sigh, knowing that she has to tell Felicity what's going on.
Elena goes to Felicity's dorm room and asks if she knows about Noel. Felicity asks if this is going to be another one of those "he's guy scum" speeches, and the more these characters keep saying "guy scum," the more I think about sperm. I'm sorry, but I had to throw it out there. Let us never speak of it again. Elena says that she thinks Noel is leaving. Felicity is shocked. Elena thinks Noel is going to quit his R.A. position and leave. Felicity asks how Elena knows that. Elena says he told her, and that he had the classifieds. The classifieds? Not the classifieds! Alert the special forces! Felicity wrinkles her brow in thought.
Later, Felicity walks up to Noel's dorm room. We see Noel through the open door, puttering around. Felicity pauses outside the room, unsure whether she should enter, and what she might say if she does. Noel looks up and sees her. Felicity gives him a tight smile and then walks off in slow motion. The camera pans back over to Noel, who flares his nostrils wistfully.
Felicity makes a tape to Sally. She says that she's never broken up with anyone before, and that she wonders if it's normal to feel schizophrenic. Felicity clarifies that one second she feels really sad, and then she gets furious at Noel for what he did, and then she gets guilty about what she did. Meghan walks in and Felicity clicks off the recorder. Meghan sarcastically says, "Hi, Sally!" Felicity gives Meghan the message that her parents called. Meghan rummages around in her bag and asks what they said. Felicity says they left a message confirming their arrival. That gets Meghan's attention, and she yells at Felicity to tell her exactly what the message said. Felicity leans over and plays the message. Meghan's mom's voice comes out of the machine, confirming their arrival the next day at noon. Meghan is freaked out, and stomps out of the room. Felicity rolls her eyes, wondering what the big deal is.