Oops…Noel Did It Again

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 2 USERS: A
Oops...Noel Did It Again

Noel wearily listens to two really annoying freshman women complaining about their housing situation. So, wait. Noel is not only in charge of drop/add, but also housing assignments? I went to a really small college, and those were still separate departments. Anyway, the women are complaining because they signed up to live on the same floor as the men's lacrosse team, thinking that it would be fun, but it turns out that guys are kind of gross, and that they pee in the sink. Clearly, neither of them has brothers. Although I did have a female roommate who used to pee in the sink, so this behavior is not just limited to guys. Anyway, they want to be reassigned. Noel promises to take care of it as soon as he can, and the women leave. Noel shuts the door behind them and looks like he wants to kill himself.

Ben walks into the hospital and peers into Jack's room. A woman rushes up and explains that Jack isn't there, because he is getting an MRI, and he'll be back in an hour. She introduces herself as Lauren; she's the one who called Ben earlier. ["She's played by medium Hey! It's That Guy! Lisa Edelstein, a.k.a. Laurie the call girl from The West Wing." -- Wing Chun] Ben admits that he's supposed to go away with his girlfriend for the weekend, so he doesn't really want to wait around. Lauren urges Ben to wait, because Jack really needs to talk to him, since his "liver is completely shot." Ben snarks, "Yeah, twenty years of drinking scotch will do that to you." I would guess that Jack has been drinking longer than twenty years. Lauren explains that they took Jack off the transplant list, because they don't think that he would survive the surgery. Lauren pauses and then says that she knows Ben and his father don't have a great relationship. Ben clarifies that they actually don't have a relationship at all, and turns to leave. Lauren says that Jack really needs to talk to Ben, because Jack has something important to say, and Ben says that it's probably nothing he hasn't heard a thousand times. Lauren insists that Ben should really talk to his father, "if for no other reason than to say goodbye -- you know, get some closure." Ben asks what that means. Lauren finally spells it out for him: "It means he's dying." Ben drops his head and sighs.

Noel tells someone on the telephone, "Put them wherever you want." Apparently, he's making arrangements for the annoying freshmen women. Javier knocks on the door, and enters, carrying a plant and explaining that he needs some guidance. Noel flatly asks what Javier wants. Javier says that his Gay and Lesbian Studies professor has a terrible accent, and Javier can't understand him. Also, Javier wants them to switch to rolls of toilet paper instead of the little squares. Noel non-sequiturs that his predecessor did the job for fourteen years. Javier is confused. Noel says that he's only been doing it a short time, and he already hates the people with their "mind-numbing problems." Yeah, it's called not being self-centered, Noel. Just because you think that the problems are mind-numbing doesn't mean they aren't important to the people with the problems. It's called a service industry, and you work in it, so get over yourself. Noel lists some problems that would so not be under his area of purview, but whatever. Noel says that his job was supposed to be a stepping stone, and it will be, and everyone else's problems will have to wait. Javier says that he guesses that he "can live with the squares a little longer," and picks up his plant and walks out. What was with the plant?

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